Motivated Motion

Rough Times And Another Surgery For Me

Those who have been following along on Facebook have seen some status updates that have indicated something was really wrong with me this last month and a half.

Through weeks of diagnostics and conferences between my Dr's and Specialists, and through endless evaluations of every kind, there seemed to be no answer to why I was so tired that I could not lift my head from the pillow some days.

The symptoms were so extreme, that if my Dr had not had such amazing cardiac test results for me in his hand, and great blood work in his hand, he would have thought that I was experiencing some sort of cardiac failure.

Then this weekend everything changed again. A lump rose up just under the scar from my vulvectomy site and it grew very fast.

Today the Surgeon didn't bother with an O.R. , he just expanded upon an in-house biopsy, and basically did another vulvectomy under local anesthetic, taking a super large site encompassing the whole of the lump plus surrounding tissue to test for malignancy.

I have a strange lump on my right leg-in the quadricep muscle(the tech called it a ropey mass), and the inguinal lymph node is tender, so they did an ultra sound on both those sites this afternoon, and they have booked a pelvic ultra sound and an abdominal ultrasound for Sunday morning. Plus I had a chest xray on Monday.

The Dr's have covered all the bases, just in case this is not just stage 3 VIN3 as before, and it has advanced to a malignancy. The Surgeon is optomistic that he got it all, but he reminded me this cancer returns over and over again, and getting it early will keep me healthy. It is rough news to know I didn't make it 6 months from the last surgery, and I didn't make it 1 yr from the first vulvectomy.

I hope this was the culprit to me feeling so physically bad, but just in case it is not, the Dr's are continuing the investigation to the mystery why I have taken so ill, so suddenly.

I didn't want to tell everyone until I really knew what the Dr's were going to do for me. Now the surgery has already happened, I at least have something concrete to explain to everyone.

Thanks for all of your concerns. Thanks to those who were patient and did not probe me too much when I said I would have something to tell today- and they were willing to wait.

Thanks to everyone who sensed something was really wrong and sent strong messages of support even though they had no clue what was happening....they just knew that I was not able to be me, and it was scaring them.

My Dr's have been so good. They have all been talking and have not left me just hanging out there with no support. I have had so much support it has exhausted me going to do all the stuff they suggested we try to get to the bottom of the mystery.

In two weeks the pathology results will come back, and I hope they will come back with no malignancy so I don't have to think about Christmas Chemo or Radiation.

I am scaling back my life for a bit.
I will be only releasing the Christmas stuff I have for the shop, and I will not be working or designing anything new until well into the new year. I have the shop closed on vacation until the end of the week, and I will open up again and publicize some Etsy Team events, and then I will close up the shop on Sabbatical, just before Christmas.

I will be only focusing on one thing this winter. I have a paper to write and present in 2011, plus I am just finishing up a workbook I am writing, and a novel. I figure even if I am stuck in bed I can still write. So I will be concentrating on my academic endeavors, instead of my artistic endeavors. I just don't have the energy to do both right now, and I have to learn how to create some boundaries, so I can stay well and not get into the pickle I have been in this past month.

http://motivated-motion.blogspot.com/2010/11/rough-times-and-another-surgery-for-me.html