Sunday, February 28, 2010















Hotz is Hot on Tour In Canada!

In the late fall I was so excited to once again score some awesome tickets to see our favorite Canadian Comic, Jeremy Hotz. The tickets were for this past Friday. He played Massey Hall in Toronto. http://jeremyhotz.com/

Of course the first big snow of 2010 ended up falling the night before the show and into the morning of the show! We wouldn't want Jeremy to miss out on snow and slush when he winter's up here in Canada instead of in his now home of California.

We are pretty big fans!
And on Friday night Jeremy announced to his publicist that we are his oldest fans. I am certain Carl and I are not the most elderly seeing JH and I are the same age and Carl is only a bit older, so I am going to believe he meant his longest standing fans. I can handle that label.

It was wonderful to be able to take the photo of Jeremy and I from last year when I got to present him with his mini Sam for JH to autograph.

Mini Sam is a needle felted replica of his dog. Jeremy gifted me a signed DVD, and he signed my copy as well. Jeremy signed the photo too. So now I can put it up on the wall with the others.








(the shots of us and Jeremy were taken by Shannon from The Official Jeremy Hotz Fanpage.)



My wall of fame consists of shots of my Husband Carl being promoted by Prince Andrew and stage shots of my Son Cam when he sang in the indy metal band Fall The Loss,


















and several years of shots with Jeremy Hotz, plus one photo of Vicky Sunohara
sitting on my parent's front porch with Mom and Dad and her Gold Metal!

Beside that wall is a shelf of videos which include "Three Men And A Baby" that has my older Son Al featured in the swimming scene. My whole world of vicarity and it completely surrounds my family.....so I guess we will have to consider JH an honorable member of the family!

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Conclusion to : Tedious!

My friend sent me a note in comment to the last "Tedious" post. I am going to share my answer to his question, and I think you will find it interesting....

QUESTION:
Do you find that gifted mediums in general have health challenges like this?
I have read about famed mediums in the past having health issues.

I wonder also because another friend of mine who lives out on the east coast and is psychically gifted also has had to fight tooth and nail with her health..............


MY ANSWER:

Within the circle of mediums I know, and have known, it is often the case that those that do energy work also seem to have multiple health issues.
Some of the folks who are watching the "crystal children" surmise that the energy workers are all "crystal children", and they don't fair well in the modern world. Their bodies are not built for a life of convenience, their bodies are old fashioned and thrive on a life of very physical means.
Folks who have the gift of being able to work with energy could also always need to stay in-tune with the earth vibrations, and it is very hard to do this constantly in this instant gratification society.
Some people have akinned us to those who do space travel. After going into space the folks age inside-prematurely, so I guess when you slide between the plains of existence your body ages on the inside prematurely... :)

Others believe energy workers cause their own ailments by taking on too much negative energy jabs from folks while they do energy work.
Sort of like absorbing the energy as we all do, but then failing to filter it well. I can also agree with this idea, as I was trained as a healer and medium so I know how to take precautions for self-preservation, yet I also know that I am still human and I am not perfect. So for sure I could have let my guard down a few times and absorbed, instead of filtered someone else's energy.....I also know I have been in the presence of other energy workers who were malcontent and have used their energy for negative purposes, and that too will have a toll on my health.

It still comes down to the belief of faith that: you only are ever given that which you are capable of handling.
Also when energy workers give out positive they get positive back. I get tons of positive back and it it shows in how I am able to cope and lessen the severity of the ailments, and how I am able to be able to always swing anything into a positive.

If you look at the big picture of the ailments plaguing energy workers seem to fall into one area.

If you are an energy worker you may want to pay attention to this:

Most energy workers I know personally all have an auto-immune disease.
Auto-immune diseases are like being allergic to the world. Our disease fighting mechanism within our body gets bad signals from our body and reacts to everything in an extreme way, and the residual effect is the auto-immune disease.
Within the body the systems that are effected by auto-immune disease are often also paired with our glandular body as well: so, our glands that make hormones that pass the messages on throughout the body, and also our lymph nodes that act as our body filters and push out all of the bad stuff from our bodies.....
All these componenents are all about how our body processes info and moves energy throughout our body and filters out all the bad stuff......

The glands that produce hormones or chemical signal makers:

pituitary
thalmus(-more obscure)
thymus(-more obscure)
thyroid
adrenals(on kidneys)
pancreas
ovaries
testicles


Filters and Excreters go together for without one the other cannot exist and they too are effected:

sinus-common problem for the populous
adenoids-common problem for the populous
tonsils-common problem for the populous
saliva ducts
tear ducts
liver
kidneys
pancreas (as it is an excreter of enzymes as well as a hormone insulin)
the lymphatic system is all under our skin, plus its main glands run from our head to our groin in two lines and in those lines are our breasts and our testicles or ovaries, which end the line of lymph nodes
(if the lymphatic system is reactive then it too increases the risk of arthritis)

basically we are hard-wired genetically for a lot of these system weaknesses, so it could be surmised that energy workers abilities could be as much a genetic flaw as the genetic flaw that afflicts their bodies making them allergic to the world....

Another thought on this is another theory that "crystal children" have a strong collective unconscious and share their energy in the collective........well if this is true at all then we would all probably also weaken collectively....and I hope this theory does not pan-out and be found fact. That would be horrid!

Friday, February 26, 2010

Continued: Tedious!


By nature I am a helper.
I will come to the aid of those who need it, and by the nature of my faith the aid that I give is a bit different than the usual helper role.
I am a medium. I talk to the dead.
I walk the realm between and speak to those who have passed on to aid those who need support on this plain of existence.
I also walk the realm between to give healing aid to folks.

I don't talk about this much as it is my faith, and it is something really personal to me and a gift I have been blessed with.
The question always comes up when a healer gets sick, or a psychic gets sick......"Could you not heal yourself?"
Sure I can! That is why I am still standing today instead of curled up in a hole somewhere feeling all sorry for myself! I am living life on no major pain meds. When others with the problems I have would be on morphine. I take an anti seizure medication called Lyrica which aids as a nerve pain duller. I take the pills before bed and usually take no others in the day. And I am dealing with a frozen shoulder, two seriously cystic ovaries, chronic arthritis and chronic pain from a neurological injury, and my daily pain regiment is a combo of one nortriptyline to help the lyrica work and one or two lyrica at bed.
The self healing work has carried me on a daily average with the meds above...
I also have super fast healing times and I shouldn't cuz I am a diabetic!
I also keep my spunky and happy attitude because my spiritual ways make my outlook way different. I keep seeking a new normal rather than pout over things I can no longer do.
I can't fix me because my genes are what they are, but I can definitely use my abilities to improve my quality of life and improve beyond medical experts expectations!

I also get asked, "If you are psychic, then could you not predict that you were going to have these medical issues?"
I think this is an awesome question!
Since I was a child there have been landmark years in my life that I have not looked forward to. Unfortunately there were key ages that came up to me as a child that were ones I needed to pay attention to, and so far these years have been right on within a few months of my original dates and definitely right within the predicted seasons.
The part that is a bit surprising to me right now is the kidney thing. My spidey senses always tugged towards the kidney disease as the killer for me. So the kidney's coming to play right now instead of later in my life when I saw it in my vision, could be now laying the foundation for the outcome I saw in my mind's eye when I was young.

So the question now comes down to choice.
Do I choose to allow this kidney business to dominate my world, or do I work spiritually to enhance my medical conditions for the positive, to change the kidney outcome-if I can?
I would vote to change it!
So I will work toward working on my body from within for the next 5 wks (like psychic boot camp). And if all my work cannot change the outcome for my kidneys all of the work will enhance my body to give it the best healing times and best recovery possible and probably buy my kidney's a bit more time to run on their own steam. So nothing is ever lost....

So now you are hearing the new stuff....
As of today I am booked for emergency surgery to now take my two ovaries. The second ultra sound revealed both ovaries are cystic, and the Dr. is worried about losing my right kidney post op. So he is asking the Urologist to not only do a repair of the leak in my urethra, he now wants a stint put into the right kidney to help buy it some time, as the surgeon thinks the Uritor between the kidney and bladder may need to be compromised to take out the ovary.
So the procedure will go like this: full-on surgery with at least an NG tube. Re-excision of the VIN site to check for that edge they didn't get, mesh sling support for urethra at valve site for leak, kidney stint, and hopefully laproscopic surgery to remove two ovaries. But the lap. surgery could become a full slice in the gut if the scar tissue is too dense.

Surgery Date at the moment is April 4th in the AM with a 1-4 day stay in hospital.

I have a risk of losing my right kidney and possibly some bowel in the worst case situation.
Best case is the ovaries come out easy and without complication and the most uncomfortable I would feel would be from gas pains.....

If you want to be updated more regularly on the health issues, I am guaranteed to update my facebook these days, so you can join my facebook (look at the side bar for my facebook updates and join there).
I am really in the early stages of typing since being down for 6 months now with the frozen shoulder, so I don't promise to be consistent on the blog yet. I can update facebook from my phone if I have to.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Tedious

It just seems the I am surrounded by negative stuff in my life right now.
It is the weirdest thing, not having one new innovative story to tell that has nothing to do with medical tests or weird swelling of yet another organ or something....

But I have kept mum about this last freaky medical incident because frankly it is frigging boring.

I am so bored by my world circling around my strange medical cellular deformities( and that refers to body cells, not cell phones..) that I am seriously thinking of packing in this medical victim routine, and get on with something good and juicy like writing, or crafting....

Of course the body is just not letting me do that yet.
I have just gotten back into being able to type (type/ keyboard-same difference)so I am feeling slightly freed from my dumb shoulder injury. But I don't have any stamina for anything... blech! And I still am in really horrid pain. (which is lately expressed in a teeth grinding, lip biting scream to stop from passing out:" OH FUuuuuuCkkkkkkkk.......ahhhhhhhh.....Geezus Fucking....Son of A Bitch! Shit! Shit! Shit!"

So back to the original tangent.....last week my face swelled up like a balloon.....just on my right side, from my nose to behind my ear, from my forehead to under my chin. Plus I had green puss coming out of my eye! Dr thinks I have a stone in my perotid gland, and he has put me on a heavy dose of cipro and has ordered a face ultrasound on the gland.

(footnote: in 1995 I was diagnosed with Sjogren's disease which caused my perotid glands (the saliva glands in my cheeks and my tear ducts to dry up and gave me chipmunk cheeks my sjogrens is more than likely at the root of all my connective tissue issues including the VIN3)

So as you can see we have had just another hiccup to add to the slue of them I have been dealing with reguarding my health for the past year. It has caused me to hit the breaking point.
I have taken two steps back from all of it and took a whole afternoon to hit my mind deep in a meditative state, to help me process the whole of it.

What I got from the meditation was that there is a problem with some choices I have made within this recovery. I allowed the inability to dictate my day, instead to grasping the inability as an opportunity to dwell on some things I kept saying I would get to if I had the time. I have tons of time now and I have done none of it.

I am not talking about being able to clean a room or decorate a floor of the house. I am talking about introspective stuff. The meat of life we avoid so often, because avoiding it is the easier path.
In my spiritual life the path has always meandered through my life as the path of choices. If I played it safe the path was smooth and boring and I didn't learn much, but when the path became difficult and challenging and there were no easy choices, I also would compartmentalize the situation to help me fit into it, and I would go from compartment to compartment analyzing the info within it and taking what I needed form it. I would learn huge from the grandness of the situation, but then the situation would lead to the path with way too many choices... And when I had exhausted all the easy ways I would end up facing hard and fast a strong message that would force me to take a second look at the big picture of my life......often illness would be the catalyst for the "knowing" I need a change.

I neglected my spiritual life again. I do it sometimes for self preservation, and sometimes I do it because I have had enough and I feel I cannot keep up the pace my spiritual pursuits can sometimes drag me into kicking and screaming.....
The truth is: sometimes I force myself to tune out "the dead people", and I tune down my spidey senses and troll in non-psychic bliss.
Hanging out there usually gets me in trouble.......
But in the same sense, hanging out in the non tingly zone of the brain is like a refreshing nap.
Sometimes it is just necessary.......even if you feel like hell when you wake up!

(to be continued)

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Memories

It is very late at night. Tomorrow I will have the first of this series of diagnostic procedures called a cystoscopy.
It is an easy procedure to go through. It is a quick look inside the bladder with a camera.
The Dr. says he uses a bit of anesthetic cream on me then puts a catheter in my bladder and looks over it all on the inside to see if there is any cancer in there.
He is also going to see if he can figure out what is causing the leaking, so we know what he will have to do when he repairs it later.

I am a bit nervous about the catheter, as I have never had one inserted while I was awake before.

It really isn't the catheter keeping me awake tonight though...it is this emotional roller coaster I feel I am on with all this health stuff just compounding and compounding itself upon me.

99% of the time I am completely fine, then something will happen and I will be just an emotional wreck.
I had to go to a funeral in the past month, and that day in the service I could not get out of my head that "this could be me"-that it could be my funeral next.
Some days it gets weird like that! You know in your rational mind that so far everything is working out, even if it is overwhelming, but the mind drags you into this abyss for a few moments and your outlook is just so drastic!

I will watch a show on TV about a grandmother, then I think I will probably never see that age.......

This isn't really a new concept for me. I have always known my health issues will shorten my life somewhat,but I also know that it is probably still going to be longer than my Grandparents' lives, and they lived into their 60's and 70's and didn't even try to take care of themselves, so I should be fine.

But there are just moments I think, should I write my eulogy?...or what?

When it is a bad day the 1% negative thoughts will get me.

So I have decided to do something about it.
I have decided to write a journal of short stories called MEMORIES
I will start with my first memory and work my way up.
This way I will be able to tell folks stories that almost everyone has never heard about me, and I will also keep my head full of really cool and fun things instead of staying in that weird 1% negative area.

So tonight I write you:

MY FIRST MEMORY

My first memory is a sensation. A sensation I was really addicted to as a baby. To this day the sensation still brings back the vivid memories I am about to share.

I lay in my crib, not far from the window; and the dresser was close to the crib( in my parents' room.)
There were venetian blinds, and the sunset would bleed through the slats causing shadow lines all around the room.
I could see sunbeam streaks on the walls and my bed, and if I looked just the right way I could see dust sparkle in the beams as they flowed by.

It was my favorite time. After bath and full of slumber thoughts.
The last rays of sun were saying good night to me, and my eyes would get heavy.
I would just be waiting for that great sensation. As sleep began to get ahold of me I would feel like I was floating-up-up-up,then I would feel like I was dropping fast!....then I was asleep.

I still get those same sensations before my sleep. And almost every time my last thought is of that memory.

There was time soon after this that I remembered being naughty. I woke early after a nap and was really curious about things. I played with whatever I had in my crib and then worked on trying to stand up. I remember finally figuring out how to stand, and quickly realized my Mom's purse was on the dresser by my bed. I rooted around in it with my stretched out hand and I could touch two things, a comb and a lipstick.
Well the comb was boring, but the lipstick was fun!
I only actually remember drawing on the dresser mirror with the lipstick but, after that I remember having to get a bath, so I probably have a memory of convenience when it comes to how much of a mess I actually created. :)

Monday, February 08, 2010

Has Anyone You Know Been The Victim Of Identity Fraud


I am sure everyone knows someone who has gotten the call from the bank telling them they need to come into the bank because their credit card number or their debit card number has been found in the possession of a criminal fraud ring.
You get the call and the bank tells you your accounts are frozen for your protection while they investigate the issue. If the accounts were cleaned out the bank insurance kicks in and your money is safe, but it is a huge inconvenience and really scary!

Did you contribute to your friend or family member`s identity being stolen

Yes I am asking YOU!

Why

Because I am really tired of folks blindly passing out my email address in large loops of spammy emails that go out all over the world, alerting me to 100% fraudulent missing person reports.
They are all frauds! ALL!

When you attach a 100 or so of your friends and family to an email that has been passed around by a hundred or so other folks who added a 100 folks to the list you are contributing to the loss of your family and friends identities.

You think it is innocent and with good intentions this is done.
No
It is a way for the originator of the email to get everyone`s identity.
First they get your email.
Then they send you a seemingly innocent email that you open.
Then a cookie attached to the email then sends info back to the originator. The info can be stats on every single web site you look at, your private IP address (which is the doorway to all your personal info including all that is `safely` tucked into your computer under password) as well as the email address of everyone you are in contact with regularly.

With a few easily accessed pieces of info a hacker can get all of your info if your friends blindly send your email out to hundreds of unknown people.

This also happens with chain letters and prayers and hugs and power point presentations. Not to mention that power point presentations are executable and can hide spy programs that can take over your machine.

In this day and age where folks are so paranoid about their privacy I find it really ridiculous that folks send out and generate so much dangerous email without even thinking about the consequences of their actions.

It takes two minutes to search the name of the so-called victim on the web.
Snopes.com has a free service to tell you if something is fraud or not.

If you care about the safety of your children and grandchildren, your friends and family, you will not put them at risk of identity theft by sending their email addresses out in forwarded email attachments in chain letters or amber alerts!

Why are people being so lax and just blindly forwarding stuff! Be responsible and look up the name of the missing person on the net. Google the name. Look at the top three choices in the search sheet and 100% of the time they are fraud alerts. Do one better than that and look it up on the reputable site of snopes.com if you are still blinded by kindness.

Think!

The only one benefiting is the person who is a criminal. Or a marketing company honing their spam focus based on your user stats (what sites you look at, what the content of the email is you share with others etc)

God help you if you find out you cost a person their life because you allowed a criminal into their life because you were too lazy to double check the info you are forwarding in email for fraud!

With 5 min of research on the net I was able to find out that the email address associated with the message that caused this Adam Trembley email to be sent out yet again is also associated with fraudulent email sent to the Orangeville newspaper, plus it is linked to a bogus facebook site which is actually being run by one person who is using the info to get spam lists for their bogus organizations listed below (don`t click the links below or the person will get all your info)

www.cosmopolitan(dot)com/sex-love/sex/sexy-ways-to-go-green-0409
www.angelfire(dot)com/wi/PaperVsPlastic
www.earthday(dot)ca/pub/index.php
www.ehow(dot)com/how_2323861_become-environmentally-friendly.html
www.treehugger(dot)com/gogreen.php
www.masteringthepowerofnow(dot)com
www.hww(dot)ca
www.naturecanada(dot)ca
www.naturecanada.(dot)ca/advocate

All of these sites were linked using hidden html code to different sites that did not have addresses even close to what a person would have thought these sites were for....
I removed the html link codes and broke the links so you and I would be safe seeing this here.


That took me 5 min.

Tuesday, February 02, 2010

Let Us See If I Can Write Something....

This ole blog has been quiet for a while.
After my surgery my shoulder felt improved and less frozen and loose.
Unfortunately this also means the injury is now not protected by the frozen muscles, so it is way more painful now even though I have improved range of motion.
I can lift my arm up 45 degrees which is quite improved from "nothing".

My surgery was not a success.
Sorry I am giving you bad news.
The pathology said there is one edge that is not clean.
Plus something more serious has happened to my bladder. It is leaking some how. I guess the stitches moved old scar tissue and it is messing with my valve.
And when they MRI'd my back they found an ovarian cyst by accident.
So things have become quite complicated.
Now I need a bladder scope (Feb 11) to check for VIN3 in bladder as it can go anywhere....
Plus more excision surgery for the VIN3.....and...........now remove an ovary...........and.........repair my bladder.

I had to fight for everything I got above.
I had to make my case to prove I was worthy of proper surgery rather than just watching and see what happens.
I had to remind the Dr. that estrogen fed cancer killed my grandmother, and bowel cancer killed my other grandmother and my mom had the VIN and it went malignant. I don't need to be reminded.

I also clued him in to the idea that what happened to me was a freaky coincidental mimic to the horror that was my Grandmother's cancer. She too had frozen shoulder and was being treated for it when her arm broke because the cancer had metastasized to her bone in her arm and ate right through! Me getting a VIN3 diagnosis at the same time as getting frozen shoulder almost put my parents around the bend with PTSD!

In 1993 I had to fight to get my surgery and in 2010 it is no different.... But weird enough it doesn't feel like a problem with the system..... It seems to be with perception and outlook instead. I don't like to say this because I am really not too much of a women's lib-er. But it really feels like Women's sexual organs/reproductive organs/gyne health is still stuck in an age where MEN seem to have all the say.
I would take all of my organs out and have my breasts taken off if I had to- to keep a strong body instead of a weak one. To be HERE parenting and interacting with my friends and family.
I am not and never will be defined by my crotch or my breasts.
If I have to risk heart attack and stroke for surgery then I would rather risk it early in the problem while I am strong and might live through it, rather than take a wait and see approach which could render me a stroke or heart attack while I am weak and on chemo and or radiation with no hope of surviving!
Question of the day. If a man had a significant cyst in his right nut sack and every time he moved he got a burning twindge in his schlong that would drop him to the ground.....Would The male Dr's take the Wait and See attitude and let him wait 5 more months into the second year of his pain?

HA HA