Monday, February 04, 2008

Ok, Here's A Story To Make You Laugh!


Wow! I tell ya......
This winter has sucked for me.
I have hardly posted through December or January because litterally, I have had one good day and one bad day as each day rolled out.
Our weather has really played havoc with my combo of auto-immune disease and neurological injury. I just can't keep the headaches away at all, and the stress on my body has it screaming at me with a heap of other problems.

So I may be quite laid up this winter, but I am in good spirits. Mostly because this "being stuck in the house" time has me being quite creative with my time.

So it has been a month since Carl started working at the bank, and he is loving it. He looks forward to the train commute each morning, and evening. He really enjoys the work too. He has a small staff of 8, and they are all just getting to know each other.

Cam is in his second semester at Seneca. He was really happy to know he did well on his exams, and kept his position in his program. He has been very very busy doing audio and film projects, which has him in the recording suites for extended hours-making his days very very long.

Tomorrow I will show you the knitting projects I have completed too.

(So to make our friend Bill feel better I have added this funny story for the beginning of your week. He has been down cuz I haven't updated enough with funny stories, to suit him. So Bill this one's for you!)

The best part of this new month is that Carl and I bought a new vehicle. (oh the funny story is soon coming)
We bought a 2008 Hyundai Entourage mini van.
The one we bought is a denim blue colour like the one in this site:

http://www.canadiandriver.com/testdrives/07entourage.htm

We have been hyundai drivers since the 90's.
My story about how I ended up buying our first Hyundai is quite funny:

So....back in the 90's my friend Eva needed someone to run her Richmond Hill Sex Shop.
It was more than a sex shop. It was a high end lingerie and evening wear shop that had the largest selection of sex toys in the Greater Toronto Area. This shop had 2200 different items to select from. And the lingerie was the absolute best European undies there is.

I ran this shop. It was a fun job, and it caused an evolution in my life for sure.
This work exposed me to a whole different type of people. And I mean DIFFERENT.

Any time someone works in a fringe industry, there are always strange things that happen.
This story is one of the funniest stories Carl and I can tell........

I was driving to the shop one day, to open up. The night before I had been to the main shop to pick up stock, and I had loaded my Ford Mini Van with boxes and boxes of sex toys.
I was almost at work when a flash storm hit on a very hot Friday the 13th in August.

Just as the storm hit I was travelling in a construction area on a hill while slowing for a red light at the bottom of the hill. Suddenly a wall of mud washed across the road and I was caught up in the mud slide. All I could hear was a kulwish, kulwish as my tires were trying to get traction in the mud. I tried to steer towards the side of the road and I had no control.

I saw two cars stopped at the lights in front of me. I slammed on the horn to warn folks I was coming and I got to the bottom of the hill and my tires finally caught some pavement and I stopped hard. But I didn't stop quick enough to not hit the folks in front of me.

It was horrible. The van dove into the pavement nose first and I caught the Camry in front of me at the bottom of its trunk. The force drove the nose of my van into the pavement in a downward motion and the top of my hood actually made the contact with the car.

My van was an original Ford Aerostar but in mint condition, and now the engine and front end was being driven backwards into me! The steering wheel crushed my chest and the dash was driven into my knees, and the metal ferring over the steering column was actually creased in a wedge where my knees broke through.

I crushed my sternum and dislocated three ribs and dislocated my collarbone. But the most embarrassing injury I had was from debris that was flying around in the van. Remember I told you I was carrying sex toys stock?

Yeah........The big box of dildos flew from the back of the van and came to the front, and I was impaled in the leg by a dildo, right through my dress!

The construction workers came to me as I was trying to figure out how injured I was, and they came to me just as I was pulling the dildo out of my leg. I know they didn't mean to, but you must imagine this picture they saw......

One marmy 30 something chick in a "Soccer Mom" van, sitting pinned in her vehicle with a hundred multi-coloured dildos shrewn all over her van inside. The police and ambulance arrived as the construction workers stood staring at me in the van, their eyes wide open and their mouths slowly saying, "We saw it all! It was unbelievable!" while taking in the amazing site.

Then the cop standing at my passenger window, asks if I am ok, and I said, "Yes", and I knew my injuries. Then the funniest question was asked by the abulance attentant......

"Can we have an off the truck sale?"

I was wondering how long it would take for a comment. And we all started howling with laughter.

So, a couple of days after this incident a bruised and battered me went to the Hyundai dealer to pick out my new sports car. I a Tiburon in those days. Tiburon means Shark. Since those days we have had no less than 8 Hyundais. Plus, I outfitted my driving instruction fleet with Hyundais when I had my driving instruction company.

Saturday we will be turning in our Hyundai Elantra GT, and picking up the new van.
The red one on this page is like our one, but ours is dark blue:

http://www.carpages.ca/go/roadtest/2006_hyundai_elantra_4door_se_and_5door_gt_road_test.aspx


I decided on the van because I wanted room for our camping gear. Plus we are 5 adults to drive in the car, with Amber included, so it will be a much more comfortable ride. There is no commuting in the van required, seeing I am retired, and don't travel far in a week.

As customer appreciation gifts we got an xm stellite radio, a camcorder, and a Carribean cruise holiday. Pretty nice perks.

The negative part of having the van is the gas prices. It costs about $80.00 to fill up the van with gas these days. Thank goodness I don't go far.

3 comments:

RheLynn said...

Wow - that is quite the story indeed. Halfway through I was just thinking it was a breakdown and you had to offload the toys from one vehicle to another - but OW have one through your leg and the police and fire unable to concentrate at first because of all the 'inventory' scattered about!

Good luck with your new van! I hope you are feeling better as the weather starts to warm up in the next month or two.

TorAa said...

What a story. Must have been a sight for gods. LOL.

RennyBA said...

What a great story - gave me a good laugh - thanks for sharing - good luck with your new vehicle!

Wishing you a lovely weekend :-)