Wednesday, October 07, 2009

What? Surgery Yesterday?

Well after the shitty summer I had with my diabetes -things are coming to a head.
I had to go to another specialist yesterday and he operated on me right in the office.
He said." You are gonna hate me. I have to operate right now. I need a biopsy" So after three needles of anesthetic and 15 min of in office surgery I had a biopsy and two stitches in the absolutely worst place imaginable.
I can't even tell you publicly where they had to is too creepy to discuss.

So the clinker of it all is that I have cancer.
I had this in 1993 and have been clear since then. And its back. I didn't even know I could get it back the same. But apparently its rare, and is back. Frig Frig Frig.
Answers all the questions why my sugars would go weird out of no where, for no food reason.
Answers why I look like an exhausted mess.

So he had to do the quick biopsy to know what degree he is looking at. So he can book my surgery. I know I am having two operations in one day. I know I will find out the date in two weeks on a Friday.

My next hope is to see if this diagnosis can bump up my January MRI as I now change in the med protocol ranks if I have a cancer diagnosis.

I am not scared.
But I am pissed.
I think I have had enough medical problems my whole life that I deserve not to have another one. I really just want to know when this med shit will end.
I am tired of bein tired
And I am tired of bein sickly...I have stuff to do!
I am also pissed off that it was ME who discovered where the problem was when I had been complaining since April of issues-which all the med tests divulged as Nothing Wrong....
I kept telling the Drs that I felt like something was wrong "Right Here" as I would point to the area. And I got a lot of heads shaking yes from the Dr's, then a....."But the tests are coming back fine"
Then I point to the area this time and Dr. says "Oh what's that?"
Then the specialist says, "Oh this is not good"

I am sorry. I know my body and I know when something is wrong.
In June I felt like I was being treated like an anxiety ridden "Woman" by the Dr's as the male Specialists argued with the Female Specialist about what should be done about me.
The Women Specialists said, "There is something wrong."
The Male Speclisists said, "Ah its probably anxiety attacks"
The Women Specialists were probably right all along. They thought I threw a blood clot from a tumor or leasion and because I was arterially healthy it didn't stick... And they got the tests they wanted done. The Male Specialists wanted to argue that it sounded like I may have had an anxiety attack in June, but they could not explain my one eye drooping during the attack or the fact I was not hyperventilating..., but would have rather just passed it off.

So the Women Specialists were spot on. One can pass a clot through the body and it breaks down eventually, but causes a bit of havoc with the patient for a day. Healthy bodies have no problem with this. (like happened to me) The trouble is the Drs have to determine if you are a healthy body or not. Male Drs looked at my weight alone. Female Drs didn't.
The Women Specialists forced the tests to prove I was healthy and to determine if I was at any risk from what they felt was an escemic event. The tests determined I have no artery or heart disease, so I could have passed a clot that didn't stick! Now we have an idea where the clot came from. A leasion that the Specialist took part of yesterday.

Oh retrospect. Always makes so much sense....

Now I would like one good thing to happen to me please.

It is ironic that this happened to me. This year I have been following along the twitter and FB of my buddy Drew. I would like you to read this blog about him:

If you twitter please twitter the following< I #blamedrewscancer for @WitchAmy having to have last min cancer surgery yesterday>
so Livestrong will donate money to cancer research for every tweet you make with the hashtag #blamedrewscancer

If you do this we can all be part of the kicking in the ass of my name too!( for I am @WitchAmy lol)

If you don't tweet and your kids do, please ask them to tweet for you.
I would like to be responsible for someone getting donations because of this.

1 comment:

julietk said...

I am so sorry to hear your Cancer is back. I wish you well. I lived through this with my mother and I know what you are facing. Sending cyber hugs to you. I know it sounds so easy to say just leaving you a message and then I can get on with my life but believe me I mean what I say. Fingers firmly crossed for a clear result soon. Juliet