Tuesday, February 02, 2010

Let Us See If I Can Write Something....

This ole blog has been quiet for a while.
After my surgery my shoulder felt improved and less frozen and loose.
Unfortunately this also means the injury is now not protected by the frozen muscles, so it is way more painful now even though I have improved range of motion.
I can lift my arm up 45 degrees which is quite improved from "nothing".

My surgery was not a success.
Sorry I am giving you bad news.
The pathology said there is one edge that is not clean.
Plus something more serious has happened to my bladder. It is leaking some how. I guess the stitches moved old scar tissue and it is messing with my valve.
And when they MRI'd my back they found an ovarian cyst by accident.
So things have become quite complicated.
Now I need a bladder scope (Feb 11) to check for VIN3 in bladder as it can go anywhere....
Plus more excision surgery for the VIN3.....and...........now remove an ovary...........and.........repair my bladder.

I had to fight for everything I got above.
I had to make my case to prove I was worthy of proper surgery rather than just watching and see what happens.
I had to remind the Dr. that estrogen fed cancer killed my grandmother, and bowel cancer killed my other grandmother and my mom had the VIN and it went malignant. I don't need to be reminded.

I also clued him in to the idea that what happened to me was a freaky coincidental mimic to the horror that was my Grandmother's cancer. She too had frozen shoulder and was being treated for it when her arm broke because the cancer had metastasized to her bone in her arm and ate right through! Me getting a VIN3 diagnosis at the same time as getting frozen shoulder almost put my parents around the bend with PTSD!

In 1993 I had to fight to get my surgery and in 2010 it is no different.... But weird enough it doesn't feel like a problem with the system..... It seems to be with perception and outlook instead. I don't like to say this because I am really not too much of a women's lib-er. But it really feels like Women's sexual organs/reproductive organs/gyne health is still stuck in an age where MEN seem to have all the say.
I would take all of my organs out and have my breasts taken off if I had to- to keep a strong body instead of a weak one. To be HERE parenting and interacting with my friends and family.
I am not and never will be defined by my crotch or my breasts.
If I have to risk heart attack and stroke for surgery then I would rather risk it early in the problem while I am strong and might live through it, rather than take a wait and see approach which could render me a stroke or heart attack while I am weak and on chemo and or radiation with no hope of surviving!
Question of the day. If a man had a significant cyst in his right nut sack and every time he moved he got a burning twindge in his schlong that would drop him to the ground.....Would The male Dr's take the Wait and See attitude and let him wait 5 more months into the second year of his pain?



julietk said...

It has been a while since you have popped up on my dashboard.
Sorry to hear things are not better for you. Give em hell and get what you need. Hugs Juliet.

RennyBA's Terella said...

Sorry to hear about the unsuccessful surgery! Hope it means you still can join us at the Oslo Blog Gathering in August though :-)

Lynn said...

Well Renny I do have to wait until after April now to decide, as I don't want to commit to a flight until I am sure something won't change and make me have to cancel it.