It is Official I am Joining the Walk for Women's Cancers!

Below is a copy of a letter I just got announcing a discount in the fundraising requirement for those who sign up to do the walk BEFORE MAY 1ST.

If you are seriously planning to join me in the walk, I suggest you take advantage of this discount for your registration.

I will be setting up my fundraising site tonight or tomorrow and I have already made my commitment to the cause. If you want to be part of my team I will call it Motivated Motion. Please take advantage of the discount and sign by Friday night! Hope to see you on Sept 11 and 12th!

**********************************************************************************

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Hi Lynn,

Thank you for requesting information about the Shoppers Drug Mart® Weekend to End Women’s Cancers™. We’ve expanded our mission to help fight all women’s cancers. That’s where we need your help by registering today to help fight these terrible diseases that affect us all. You’ll be part of something that’s changing the lives of so many people by raising critical funds and spreading awareness in your community. Even better, register between today and April 30^th and we’ll give you your first $100 fundraising credit to help kick-start your campaign.

If you want to learn even more be sure to check out one of our Get In Step sessions – there you’ll also meet other walkers in your community and pick up your free t-shirt when you register. Bring your friends and family - all are welcome, and while you’re there be sure to get them on board with you! As part of our new incentive program this year, you’ll receive a $100 fundraising credit (up to a maximum of 5) for every new walker you recruit. That means you can earn up to $500 towards your goal.

Visit the link below or give me a call back to RSVP for one in your area today:

http://to10.endcancer.ca/site/PageServer?pagename=to10_calendar

I look forward to speaking with you soon!

Sincerely,

Sarah

http://motivated-motion.blogspot.com/2010/04/it-is-official-i-am-joining-walk-for.html

20 Days........And I am not Myself
And Find Out How I Got F'd Over by Ontario Healthcare!


My surgery was a piece of cake, and my recovery remarkable....yet......I don't feel too great.
Twenty days ago I had my right ovary removed in a two surgery, triple procedure.
I did really well right after the surgery and I healed up great too, yet I seemed to be plagued by a strange fatigue. Until the last couple of days I thought it was just me being older plus me also having my second surgery this winter as the reason I felt so low, but I am thinking now that it might be an infection....I just don't know if it is surgical or perhaps sinus.

My suspicions red-flagged when my blood sugar suddenly went up right after a week of barely keeping it up enough, so I will be heading for some tests today to see what is up, then I will see the Dr. on Friday to get a check once my test results come back.

I think that it is actually a residual infection from a bad environmental allergy attack I have been having all week, but I have to be a good girl and cover all the bases before I relax.

The fatigue I have is so bad that if I increase my activity level just a little my whole body will react with huge sighs. It is crazy! And yet I still have the same trouble as ever falling asleep, so I sit like always, up late at night on the computer, trying to stay out of trouble. LOL

Right now I am frustrated. I want to be training more for the walk for womens' cancer, and I want to be gearing up to re-open the shop, but I just don't have the energy.

So I think I will be playing it week-by-week for a bit longer, as I don't want to get the shop in full-swing, only to have to stop again because of a set-back. As much as it pains me to keep the shop closed longer, I think I need to really have a serious look at my situation and not rush myself back into the hospital because I went back to the fast pace of life too soon.

I am still not monitoring my feeds or emails too closely, so if you really need to get my attention to something, or you need a reply from me, I suggest you call and leave a message. Otherwise please be patient......................

We had to get nursing care for this recovery, as with the abdominal surgery and the frozen shoulder I am litterally trapped in bed when I wake up. So the nurse comes in and helps me get up and monitors my first meds and blood sugar stuff while I am groggy. She helps me get showered and dressed and keeps me safe in the first two hours of my day. I am not on any pain meds in the day, but my meds from bedtime take a while to wear off, and they make me forgetful at the crucial time when I need to remember that I took my diabetic meds, or checked my sugar. I think going under general anesthetic made the forgetfulness more prominent each morning, and I hope this situation is only temporary.

We never did get CCAC. Basically the socialized homecare that was created to lessen the burdon of recovery time on the hospital, and bring the patient to homecare right away is now gone the way of the D0do. Now CCAC mandate as of December 2009 is only to provide homecare if you are over 65 and or near dead, and if you are dying they pass you off to hospice. CCAC tells you that Chats will help Aquired Brain Injury Patients with rides to therapy and care, but this too is untrue. Chats new mandate is only to help senior citizens now and no one else.

So what does this mean? It means that the Ontario health care system is no longer providing extended homecare to regular post surgical patients even though the Hospital system is still under the expectation that EVERYONE will get homecare for recovery at home-because the Hospital system has not made any provisional changes to their discharge program for post surgical care.

There is a CCAC points system and now some Senior Citizens would also not meet the points criteria for the new mandate, so they too will get no care.

Who gets homecare now? Refugees, Welfare Recipients, and Senior Citizens that have no savings. Who loses? The middle class family with two adults working making a decent wage for over 25yrs, or Senior Citizens that worked damn hard for their money and did a good job of saving money for retirement

We- the middle class get F'd over again. Almost 50 yrs combined of my husband and I contributing to the Provincial system to the maximum the Province can take ( with which Fed and Provincial taxes takes a total of 62% of our total gross income ). But those who did not contribute because they sat in Ontario housing forever and only worked long enough to collect the minimum unemployment benefit and were never productive members of society- and spent all their free time at the bar or the race track or in prison pass the points review from CCAC and get everything on a platter!

I retired from my great career for medical reasons and all I get is a CPP benefit of $564.72 a month. The part of my medications not covered by insurance is over that per month!
For years and years we paid the maximum anyone can pay into the system. I never even took a baby bonus or GST cheque or child tax credit EVER, and I get screwed by my own Province when I get sick. My husband and Sons are exhausted from trying to help me more and more since September when I injured my shoulder and then through the December and April surgeries, and I got nothing and no aid from an agency we have had to pay to through our taxes all these years to receive no benefit from them.

Guaranteed, when I get my energy back and I going to be the loudest one-ovaried bitch to ever walk into Queen's Park, and I am going to become the thorn in healthcare's side. As far as I am concerned CCAC is in abuse of patients coming through the hospital system since they changed their mandate, as there is no provision in place to do a step-down of care for a patient who is sent home within 24hrs of surgery from everything to ovary removal, cancer surgery, plastic surgery etc., and up until Dec 2009 there was.

Hear this! I had a cancer excision vulvectomy on Dec 2, 2009 and I didn't even qualify for an Occupational Therapist assessment after my surgery ( and homecare says all cancer patients get care-bullshit!). I was put on a waiting list from January until my second gynecological surgery in April 2010, when because of my abdominal surgery which only successfully removed one ovary when the removal of both was necessary. So I finally got off the OT waiting list only to continue to stay on the RPN requirement waiting list.

Who ever heard of someone having surgery and then be on a waiting list for post surgical care!? WTF!
When someone has surgery the need for homecare is immediate, it isn't dynamic! And if you require assistance to get up or take care of hygiene it is a NO BRAINER that the care needs to be established and in place at the hospital before the patient leaves. Now the hospital assessor comes and then says that they will get the ball rolling which means they will pass you off to yet another person who wastes an hour of your time asking the same questions as the other, yet carefully logs all of your answers into their own computer ( so they can get paid for wasting your time!). All of the assessors are more than happy to spend an hour with you asking about your inabilities because they get paid! Not because they are going to help. Nope...no help....just more fuckery to really mess with the patient and their exhausted family, and make yet another contact you can call to get no help.

So what did I get for 4 one hour pre-assessments?(BASICALLY SOMEONE GOT PAID 4 TIMES TO FILL OUT THE SAME QUESTIONNAIRE) I got tired.....
I also got an occupational therapist to come to my home to help me figure out how to

A) get out of bed without the risk of pain that will cause me to black out [which I have done 8 times in the last three months-and that was only counting the times I blacked-out and hit the floor. Many -a- day I black-out 4 times in bed trying to get up ]

B)get a bra on -the only answer to this was no bra, or a nurse as the tool to help is no longer available

C) wipe my ass without blacking-out cuz I can only do it with my bad arm......and that reach around for a sparkle clean sphincter causes a nerve pain so bad I will hit the floor writhing in pain, trying to breathe through the pain while swearing the worst loudest stuff ever!

So this pain issue with the shoulder escalated after the first Surgery on December 2nd, and I was wait-listed for that OT until April 9th when she came! How the fuck does CCAC think it is ok to put a patient through that!?

So what did I get from the OT?......nothin
I got suggestions of stuff I could buy and try! Yep.....buy. And I could not even order it through her. My care person had to leave my side when I was still recovering to go find medical supply stores that would have the stuff. Then he could order it.
So we had to spend a lot of money to get me some aids, and the ass wiper is mediocre but can't be returned-obviously and cost almost $60.00! We had to rent a shower rail and seat, and we had to order a bed ladder which has apparently arrived at the supply store, but I can't drive to get it and my care givers(Hubby and Sons) are now back working so they don't get fired from their real-life jobs, and now cannot pick up until the weekend.
The OT also suggested we ask our personal medical insurance about private nursing coverage.

We got it!

Yep we got private nursing coverage supplied by Bayshore Nursing services. I get an RN or RPN for two hours a day, 5 days a week from a minimum of $25,000.00 to up to a Million dollars in coverage per year at 90%. It sounds fabulous!
Clinker is: I have to pay the service out of my own pocket first and then submit the paperwork to get 90% of it back. I am gonna assume it will be a horrible amount like $200.00 an hour!

That way of paying would be fantastic if I had not been medically retired since 2005 collecting my pittance from CPP exhausting all of our savings on previous medical care, physio therapy for my stupid shoulder, foot orthotics, prescription shoes, CPAP machines and supplies, diabetic meds, maintenance and supplies, stupid parking at hospitals like Southlake, Sunnybrook, Woman's College Hospital, Toronto General Hospital, Scarborough General Hospital, Toronto Western Hospital where I end up paying $18.00- $32.00 dollars to park each day, for monthly Specialist Appointments, medical procedures and surgeries.
And... we have two kids in post secondary Education to boot!

Could you do it? Do you have enough money in the bank to pay the bills our socialized medicine does not provide for any longer? Could you pay thousands of dollars of nursing fees out of your pocket first?
Does your current mode of Medical Plan cover all your meds? If your plan didn't cover a med you needed and had no alternative to get and it was $300.00 a month out of your pocket could you pay it? Could you continue to pay it for 5 or more years like me?

Since 2005 we have had to utilize over $200,000.00 of our savings because of my medical retirement. It is like the past 25years of savings never occurred. So our retirement will be some locked investments and equity from the house....that's it. It is that "Son-of-A-Bitchin', kick-you-in-the-ass-kind of, life-sucking" event that will definitely make you cynical

Sucked freekin dry!

I thought the benefit to working hard and honest and paying all the taxes was to have some benefit when I need it. Well I am very unsatisfied with the health services I have paid for within 62% of our yearly gross income going to taxes- ever since my first full-time job after graduating college. I never even got maternity pay, or baby bonus or GST or Child Tax Credit. We just paid and paid and got no socialized benefit at all!

I want a refund! And I will become the biggest thorn in the side of Ontario health care until they give me my refund! I have spent 46 years in gal training to throw me at their phone lines, and emails. I will become fucking loud! If you don't think your life could handle a huge hit to finances because of medical care issues, and there is no way you could afford to subsidize your life from your savings in a medical emergency then you need to get fucking loud too!

Ontario Healthcare has failed to provide me with the level of care I required for quality of life issues like hygiene, mobility and medicating for a chronic illness BECAUSE WE EARNED A GOOD HONEST LIVING AND ARE MIDDLE CLASS, so I want a refund for all of the years I paid into that service with an expected high rate of care and got zero care. I didn't get what I paid for......I want a refund!

http://motivated-motion.blogspot.com/2010/04/20-days.html

I Am Home


I was released from the hospital on Thursday morning.
I dumbfounded the surgeon by requiring no pain meds after the surgery.
I was given a morphine pump and only used it one shot on the test of the pump and that was it.

I proved that the perfect pain management program can get a patient moving after surgery as well as treat a chronic pain issue.
It opened up a question in the Surgeon's mind about whether Lyrica may be a good pre op and post op pain med to deal with the terrible gas pains in the muscles of patients that get Laproscopic surgery. The gas permeates the muscles causing cramping especially in the shoulders and back.

This cramping makes it really hard for the patient to get up and move, thus making it hard for them to begin to get the anesthetic out of their system. Not moving puts patients at risk for blood clots and bruising.

I had no pain. None!
I was just a little stiff, and I was able to get up and walk really soon after surgery, and I was able to drink lots of water too which helped my kidneys stop bleeding.

So the surgery was long. About three hours.
I was fortunate to have a scope and they used 4 or 5 puncture areas on my abdomen.
There was a lot of scar tissue which was bonding everything together in the bowel loops.
The gynecologist was only able to successfully remove my right ovary. It had two cysts on it. The left ovary is really stuck to my bowel and ligaments of my back, and the Dr. felt it was really risky to go in after it as it would have taken at least two more hours of surgery to get it. The Dr. has the one ovary to get pathology on, but the look of the cysts did not indicate they were cancerous and they were not endo tissue which means I won't have to worry about any necrosis.
It was a case of terrible scar tissue and two trapped cysts on an ovary that has seen better days.

The Dr.'s were very receptive to me using hypnosis to help walk through the surgery process step by step and envision low blood loss and quick healing and balanced blood pressure and heart rate. They talked to me when I was out to tell my subconscious my BP and Heart Rate, and I kept them both calm and steady the whole way through.
It is funny about the kidney hemorrhaging.....I had a vision about it when I started the self hypnosis that day.

The bladder repair is not giving me any trouble. So if anyone is toying with the idea and is nervous.....it does not feel bad to pee at all. I feel bruised in my groin and in the joints of my legs. My lower back is a bit tender, and my bladder feels a bit bruised. Not a bad pain bruise feeling, just a bit sensitive bruised feeling. Also this surgery was my first experience with a bladder catheter, and it was not a horrible experience. It actually takes a lot of stress off the patient because the urgent need to pee after surgery is removed which improves the patient's morale greatly and takes away a huge stressor: the need to pee badly and no strength to get yourself to be able to move independently to a washroom is a horrible stressor post-op.

The Dec cancer site was re-biopsied and that came back clean this time so for now I am once again a success story.

Today I was exhausted by the trip home. Which is like a 5 min car ride...
I slept most of the day, and missed dinner with the family.

I ate mozza ball soup and italian wedding soup today.
I have had lots of tea and mineral water too.

So you know I am alive and that it was a tough surgery but not the worst case scenario......so a positive end.
We will figure out how to deal with the left ovary if it becomes an issue. If the cysts are just poly cystic type cysts then if the left ovary is a pain the another surgery is a risk at the time, we could probably just give me an estrogen blocker like tamoxifen to throw the ovary into full menopause and shrink it.


I find I get sore if I sit or lay in one position too long so I probably won't be doing much, and whatever I will feel up to do will be in spurts. I even took a nap in the middle of posting this LOL.

I have restrictions on what I am allowed to do for a month.

http://motivated-motion.blogspot.com/2010/04/i-am-home-i-was-released-from-hospital.html

Watch the Facebook Feed and the Twitter Feed Here to See Hospital updates from my Cell Phone

http://motivated-motion.blogspot.com/2010/04/lynn-lundy-tuckers-facebook-profile-new.html

Surgery Again!

Well on Wednesday morning at 6AM I will go under the knife once again.
I am sure I have broken some record for number of abdominal surgeries in a lifetime.
I am sure too that I have definitely made it into a top squad for Gynecological surgeries.

On Wed I will go into hospital for at least over night to have my ovaries removed, two stints put into my kidneys', and to have my bladder repaired, and to have the cancer site re-excised.

I cannot believe that I have to go in again!

This time we have no idea what to expect when the team of Dr's go in, as I have some serious medical issues to deal with as a result of having so many abdominal surgeries. I had endometriosis in the past, plus I build scar tissue really badly, so a simple procedure can turn really messy with me.

It seems that my ovaries are a mess. It is a guarantee one ovary is coming out and it is possible the second is too. Why there are questions as to what will happen......is because the surgeon just does not know if he can get both ovaries and keep my bowel and kidneys in tact.

Best case scenario is they go in and can get the ovaries out with a scope no problem.
Worst case scenario is they could go in and find endo tissue messin up everything, and that could mean losing part of my bowel and one or both kidney's, plus a scrapping of the scope for an big slice down my belly.


What we think is going on is a really bad case of poly cystic ovarian disease, as my ovarian cancer screening test came back fine.
None-the-less my ovaries are really cysty and enlarged. I have been having back pain to the level of back labour since 2008. The delay on this situation was because a pelvic ultra sound in May of 2009 revealed nothing, but we think now it was a botch, as two recent ones after an alarming back MRI which found the cysts showed both ovaries a mess.
Most likely I am dealing with chocolate cysts, which are endo tissue growing on the ovaries causing them to go lumpy.

I told the Dr last year that it felt like I had an abscess on the inside of the bone of my pelvis at the back. It was a bit higher than regular gyne pain so I thought it might be my kidney. What I didn't realize was that my ovaries have moved to my back and up high nestled into my bowel loops, as a result of having a hysterectomy in 1993.

I have closed my Etsy shop until April 20th, and I want to also warn folks that I may not be returning email until that time either.

Cam will do his best to update my facebook and this blog as soon as there is anything to say.
Keep your eye on my twitter feed and facebook feed on the sidebar here for updates from my phone. If I think about it I will put the facebook and twitter widgets on the next post....just before I go to the hospital.

I will be at Southlake Hospital in Newmarket for one to four nights.
If I am in for more than one night, it means the surgery was extensive and very complicated and my condition could be grave, so I would rather folks talk to Carl before they decide to head over to the hospital, as I may not be well enough to have visitors.
I could have lots of tubes in me and I could be on dialysis.

Here is a crazy basketball sized ovarian cyst removal!

http://motivated-motion.blogspot.com/2010/04/surgery-again-well-on-wednesday-morning.html

I Can Actually Type Now!

All of my other posts over the past 6 months have been built a few sentences at a time because of my crappy shoulder injury.
This week I can finally actually type with stamina.

I won't be coming back to the blog and internet world for a little bit longer yet though. I have decided not to rush back to the webby ventures including the craft business just yet. I have another surgery to be done on April 7th and this could be a rough one, so I am not gonna get everything all started only to have to stop for the surgery and then make everyone watch me stall again in recovery, so I will wait until the surgery is done to return to my webby ventures of writing the blog and working on the Gallery site until I am feeling really well.

I will be putting the Etsy shop on Vacation from the Easter Weekend for a few weeks, so if you want something from the shop I suggest you order it now, or you may not be able to see it when the shop in on vacation for a week or two.

This week is the first week since September, that I have been able to touch my left arm with my right hand. A step in the right direction.
I don't have full use of my arm yet, but the typing thing is no longer painful and sloppy, so typing is working out.

If you need to be freshly informed you can join my Facebook where I do post a sentence a day or so.....
Otherwise you can expect me back as soon as I am comfortable after my next surgery.

I will ask one of my Son's to update my Facebook on surgery day for me, if I cannot post from my cell phone.

My next surgery is complicated. I have to have my two ovaries removed and I could lose a kidney in the process of the removal, so we just are not sure how it is all going to go until the day of....
I will be in hospital for this one, and not on day surgery.

They will be operating on my kidney ureter/s, my ovaries, my bladder and urethra and they will also be re-excising the site from Dec 2nd as the pathology did not come clean on that surgery.

It all could go without a hitch or it could become really complicated because I have loads of scar tissue from the multiple past abdominal surgeries I have had since 1987. Worst case scenario is I could end up losing my kidneys my bladder and some of my bowel if the scar tissue is too entwined in everything. Best case scenario is that they can get through the scar tissue with the laprascope and grab the ovaries without messing around with anything else and it is in and out quick quick quick.
I figure I will end up getting cut after they try to go with the laprascope, but my circulation will be good and allow the major tubes and organs to be saved, just taking the ovaries which are apparently a mess. I am putting in this footnote to see if I am correct come the day.......(kinda prediction of sorts).

These next couple of weeks are being spent in physio therapy and with extending my walking and doing pelvic floor exercises like super keegles. I have learn elevator keegling from the physio gals and I have to them all the time. I swear going to physio is a tough as when I had a personal trainer at the gym! They are killin me! But I am improving nicely now.

Some folks know that I have loosely began to prep for the Toronto walk for Cancer. No one has had me asking for donations yet, as I don't want to start all this fund raising to have to stop for a period of time to recover from yet another surgery, so I have postponed my official fund raising and official registration until after the surgery.
Until I am told by a medical professional that I cannot do this walk (once I have had the surgery) my plan is to train like I am doing it.

So be prepared. If I am well enough to see the 1day walk or the 2day walk is an attainable goal you will see some fund raising starting some time in May. The official date of the walk is the weekend of Sept 11th and 12th. I want to have a team. So if you are interested in walking with me you need to look at the official site for the walk for woman's cancers in Toronto so you can see what you have to commit to.

If I remember correctly from my meeting with the walk people, each person has to commit to
$1000.00 dollars in official fundraising for the one day walk, or $2500.00 for the two day walk.
You get an official site for yourself or the team to fund raise from. where folks can donate directly to the foundation, and the donation money gets used right away by the Princes Margaret Hospital Research. It does not get held until Sept 2010 before it is passed on to the Hospital.

Why am a using this walk as a goal? Because I have walked the patient of cancer hallway way too long:
1993-hysterectomy- two separate cancers at same time
1996-lumpectomy
2009-VIN3-vulver cancer
2010- VIN3 re-excision, polycystic ovarian disease with signs of ovary enlargement bilateral and ureter distress and urethra distress- sweep for cancer is necessary

(oh and by the way I don't smoke, and never have. This is some crappy genetic marker not a lifestyle issue)

http://motivated-motion.blogspot.com/2010/03/i-can-actually-type-now-all-of-my-other.html

Hotz is Hot on Tour In Canada!

In the late fall I was so excited to once again score some awesome tickets to see our favorite Canadian Comic, Jeremy Hotz. The tickets were for this past Friday. He played Massey Hall in Toronto. http://jeremyhotz.com/

Of course the first big snow of 2010 ended up falling the night before the show and into the morning of the show! We wouldn't want Jeremy to miss out on snow and slush when he winter's up here in Canada instead of in his now home of California.

We are pretty big fans!
And on Friday night Jeremy announced to his publicist that we are his oldest fans. I am certain Carl and I are not the most elderly seeing JH and I are the same age and Carl is only a bit older, so I am going to believe he meant his longest standing fans. I can handle that label.

It was wonderful to be able to take the photo of Jeremy and I from last year when I got to present him with his mini Sam for JH to autograph.

Mini Sam is a needle felted replica of his dog. Jeremy gifted me a signed DVD, and he signed my copy as well. Jeremy signed the photo too. So now I can put it up on the wall with the others.








(the shots of us and Jeremy were taken by Shannon from The Official Jeremy Hotz Fanpage.)



My wall of fame consists of shots of my Husband Carl being promoted by Prince Andrew and stage shots of my Son Cam when he sang in the indy metal band Fall The Loss,


















and several years of shots with Jeremy Hotz, plus one photo of Vicky Sunohara
sitting on my parent's front porch with Mom and Dad and her Gold Metal!

Beside that wall is a shelf of videos which include "Three Men And A Baby" that has my older Son Al featured in the swimming scene. My whole world of vicarity and it completely surrounds my family.....so I guess we will have to consider JH an honorable member of the family!

http://motivated-motion.blogspot.com/2010/02/hotz-is-hot-on-tour-in-canada-in-late.html

Conclusion to : Tedious!

My friend sent me a note in comment to the last "Tedious" post. I am going to share my answer to his question, and I think you will find it interesting....

QUESTION:
Do you find that gifted mediums in general have health challenges like this? I have read about famed mediums in the past having health issues.
I wonder also because another friend of mine who lives out on the east coast and is psychically gifted also has had to fight tooth and nail with her health..............


MY ANSWER:

Within the circle of mediums I know, and have known, it is often the case that those that do energy work also seem to have multiple health issues.
Some of the folks who are watching the "crystal children" surmise that the energy workers are all "crystal children", and they don't fair well in the modern world. Their bodies are not built for a life of convenience, their bodies are old fashioned and thrive on a life of very physical means.
Folks who have the gift of being able to work with energy could also always need to stay in-tune with the earth vibrations, and it is very hard to do this constantly in this instant gratification society.
Some people have akinned us to those who do space travel. After going into space the folks age inside-prematurely, so I guess when you slide between the plains of existence your body ages on the inside prematurely... :)

Others believe energy workers cause their own ailments by taking on too much negative energy jabs from folks while they do energy work.
Sort of like absorbing the energy as we all do, but then failing to filter it well. I can also agree with this idea, as I was trained as a healer and medium so I know how to take precautions for self-preservation, yet I also know that I am still human and I am not perfect. So for sure I could have let my guard down a few times and absorbed, instead of filtered someone else's energy.....I also know I have been in the presence of other energy workers who were malcontent and have used their energy for negative purposes, and that too will have a toll on my health.

It still comes down to the belief of faith that: you only are ever given that which you are capable of handling.
Also when energy workers give out positive they get positive back. I get tons of positive back and it it shows in how I am able to cope and lessen the severity of the ailments, and how I am able to be able to always swing anything into a positive.

If you look at the big picture of the ailments plaguing energy workers seem to fall into one area.

If you are an energy worker you may want to pay attention to this:

Most energy workers I know personally all have an auto-immune disease.
Auto-immune diseases are like being allergic to the world. Our disease fighting mechanism within our body gets bad signals from our body and reacts to everything in an extreme way, and the residual effect is the auto-immune disease.
Within the body the systems that are effected by auto-immune disease are often also paired with our glandular body as well: so, our glands that make hormones that pass the messages on throughout the body, and also our lymph nodes that act as our body filters and push out all of the bad stuff from our bodies.....
All these componenents are all about how our body processes info and moves energy throughout our body and filters out all the bad stuff......

The glands that produce hormones or chemical signal makers:

pituitary
thalmus(-more obscure)
thymus(-more obscure)
thyroid
adrenals(on kidneys)
pancreas
ovaries
testicles


Filters and Excreters go together for without one the other cannot exist and they too are effected:

sinus-common problem for the populous
adenoids-common problem for the populous
tonsils-common problem for the populous
saliva ducts
tear ducts
liver
kidneys
pancreas (as it is an excreter of enzymes as well as a hormone insulin)
the lymphatic system is all under our skin, plus its main glands run from our head to our groin in two lines and in those lines are our breasts and our testicles or ovaries, which end the line of lymph nodes
(if the lymphatic system is reactive then it too increases the risk of arthritis)

basically we are hard-wired genetically for a lot of these system weaknesses, so it could be surmised that energy workers abilities could be as much a genetic flaw as the genetic flaw that afflicts their bodies making them allergic to the world....

Another thought on this is another theory that "crystal children" have a strong collective unconscious and share their energy in the collective........well if this is true at all then we would all probably also weaken collectively....and I hope this theory does not pan-out and be found fact. That would be horrid!

http://motivated-motion.blogspot.com/2010/02/conclusion-to-tedious-my-friend-send-me.html

Continued: Tedious!


By nature I am a helper.
I will come to the aid of those who need it, and by the nature of my faith the aid that I give is a bit different than the usual helper role.
I am a medium. I talk to the dead.
I walk the realm between and speak to those who have passed on to aid those who need support on this plain of existence.
I also walk the realm between to give healing aid to folks.

I don't talk about this much as it is my faith, and it is something really personal to me and a gift I have been blessed with.
The question always comes up when a healer gets sick, or a psychic gets sick......"Could you not heal yourself?"
Sure I can! That is why I am still standing today instead of curled up in a hole somewhere feeling all sorry for myself! I am living life on no major pain meds. When others with the problems I have would be on morphine. I take an anti seizure medication called Lyrica which aids as a nerve pain duller. I take the pills before bed and usually take no others in the day. And I am dealing with a frozen shoulder, two seriously cystic ovaries, chronic arthritis and chronic pain from a neurological injury, and my daily pain regiment is a combo of one nortriptyline to help the lyrica work and one or two lyrica at bed.
The self healing work has carried me on a daily average with the meds above...
I also have super fast healing times and I shouldn't cuz I am a diabetic!
I also keep my spunky and happy attitude because my spiritual ways make my outlook way different. I keep seeking a new normal rather than pout over things I can no longer do.
I can't fix me because my genes are what they are, but I can definitely use my abilities to improve my quality of life and improve beyond medical experts expectations!

I also get asked, "If you are psychic, then could you not predict that you were going to have these medical issues?"
I think this is an awesome question!
Since I was a child there have been landmark years in my life that I have not looked forward to. Unfortunately there were key ages that came up to me as a child that were ones I needed to pay attention to, and so far these years have been right on within a few months of my original dates and definitely right within the predicted seasons.
The part that is a bit surprising to me right now is the kidney thing. My spidey senses always tugged towards the kidney disease as the killer for me. So the kidney's coming to play right now instead of later in my life when I saw it in my vision, could be now laying the foundation for the outcome I saw in my mind's eye when I was young.

So the question now comes down to choice.
Do I choose to allow this kidney business to dominate my world, or do I work spiritually to enhance my medical conditions for the positive, to change the kidney outcome-if I can?
I would vote to change it!
So I will work toward working on my body from within for the next 5 wks (like psychic boot camp). And if all my work cannot change the outcome for my kidneys all of the work will enhance my body to give it the best healing times and best recovery possible and probably buy my kidney's a bit more time to run on their own steam. So nothing is ever lost....

So now you are hearing the new stuff....
As of today I am booked for emergency surgery to now take my two ovaries. The second ultra sound revealed both ovaries are cystic, and the Dr. is worried about losing my right kidney post op. So he is asking the Urologist to not only do a repair of the leak in my urethra, he now wants a stint put into the right kidney to help buy it some time, as the surgeon thinks the Uritor between the kidney and bladder may need to be compromised to take out the ovary.
So the procedure will go like this: full-on surgery with at least an NG tube. Re-excision of the VIN site to check for that edge they didn't get, mesh sling support for urethra at valve site for leak, kidney stint, and hopefully laproscopic surgery to remove two ovaries. But the lap. surgery could become a full slice in the gut if the scar tissue is too dense.

Surgery Date at the moment is April 4th in the AM with a 1-4 day stay in hospital.

I have a risk of losing my right kidney and possibly some bowel in the worst case situation.
Best case is the ovaries come out easy and without complication and the most uncomfortable I would feel would be from gas pains.....

If you want to be updated more regularly on the health issues, I am guaranteed to update my facebook these days, so you can join my facebook (look at the side bar for my facebook updates and join there).
I am really in the early stages of typing since being down for 6 months now with the frozen shoulder, so I don't promise to be consistent on the blog yet. I can update facebook from my phone if I have to.

http://motivated-motion.blogspot.com/2010/02/continued-tedious-by-nature-i-am-helper.html

Tedious

It just seems the I am surrounded by negative stuff in my life right now.
It is the weirdest thing, not having one new innovative story to tell that has nothing to do with medical tests or weird swelling of yet another organ or something....

But I have kept mum about this last freaky medical incident because frankly it is frigging boring.

I am so bored by my world circling around my strange medical cellular deformities( and that refers to body cells, not cell phones..) that I am seriously thinking of packing in this medical victim routine, and get on with something good and juicy like writing, or crafting....

Of course the body is just not letting me do that yet.
I have just gotten back into being able to type (type/ keyboard-same difference)so I am feeling slightly freed from my dumb shoulder injury. But I don't have any stamina for anything... blech! And I still am in really horrid pain. (which is lately expressed in a teeth grinding, lip biting scream to stop from passing out:" OH FUuuuuuCkkkkkkkk.......ahhhhhhhh.....Geezus Fucking....Son of A Bitch! Shit! Shit! Shit!"

So back to the original tangent.....last week my face swelled up like a balloon.....just on my right side, from my nose to behind my ear, from my forehead to under my chin. Plus I had green puss coming out of my eye! Dr thinks I have a stone in my perotid gland, and he has put me on a heavy dose of cipro and has ordered a face ultrasound on the gland.

(footnote: in 1995 I was diagnosed with Sjogren's disease which caused my perotid glands (the saliva glands in my cheeks and my tear ducts to dry up and gave me chipmunk cheeks my sjogrens is more than likely at the root of all my connective tissue issues including the VIN3)

So as you can see we have had just another hiccup to add to the slue of them I have been dealing with reguarding my health for the past year. It has caused me to hit the breaking point.
I have taken two steps back from all of it and took a whole afternoon to hit my mind deep in a meditative state, to help me process the whole of it.

What I got from the meditation was that there is a problem with some choices I have made within this recovery. I allowed the inability to dictate my day, instead to grasping the inability as an opportunity to dwell on some things I kept saying I would get to if I had the time. I have tons of time now and I have done none of it.

I am not talking about being able to clean a room or decorate a floor of the house. I am talking about introspective stuff. The meat of life we avoid so often, because avoiding it is the easier path.
In my spiritual life the path has always meandered through my life as the path of choices. If I played it safe the path was smooth and boring and I didn't learn much, but when the path became difficult and challenging and there were no easy choices, I also would compartmentalize the situation to help me fit into it, and I would go from compartment to compartment analyzing the info within it and taking what I needed form it. I would learn huge from the grandness of the situation, but then the situation would lead to the path with way too many choices... And when I had exhausted all the easy ways I would end up facing hard and fast a strong message that would force me to take a second look at the big picture of my life......often illness would be the catalyst for the "knowing" I need a change.

I neglected my spiritual life again. I do it sometimes for self preservation, and sometimes I do it because I have had enough and I feel I cannot keep up the pace my spiritual pursuits can sometimes drag me into kicking and screaming.....
The truth is: sometimes I force myself to tune out "the dead people", and I tune down my spidey senses and troll in non-psychic bliss.
Hanging out there usually gets me in trouble.......
But in the same sense, hanging out in the non tingly zone of the brain is like a refreshing nap.
Sometimes it is just necessary.......even if you feel like hell when you wake up!

(to be continued)

http://motivated-motion.blogspot.com/2010/02/tedious-it-just-seems-i-am-surrounded.html

Memories

It is very late at night. Tomorrow I will have the first of this series of diagnostic procedures called a cystoscopy.
It is an easy procedure to go through. It is a quick look inside the bladder with a camera.
The Dr. says he uses a bit of anesthetic cream on me then puts a catheter in my bladder and looks over it all on the inside to see if there is any cancer in there.
He is also going to see if he can figure out what is causing the leaking, so we know what he will have to do when he repairs it later.

I am a bit nervous about the catheter, as I have never had one inserted while I was awake before.

It really isn't the catheter keeping me awake tonight though...it is this emotional roller coaster I feel I am on with all this health stuff just compounding and compounding itself upon me.

99% of the time I am completely fine, then something will happen and I will be just an emotional wreck.
I had to go to a funeral in the past month, and that day in the service I could not get out of my head that "this could be me"-that it could be my funeral next.
Some days it gets weird like that! You know in your rational mind that so far everything is working out, even if it is overwhelming, but the mind drags you into this abyss for a few moments and your outlook is just so drastic!

I will watch a show on TV about a grandmother, then I think I will probably never see that age.......

This isn't really a new concept for me. I have always known my health issues will shorten my life somewhat,but I also know that it is probably still going to be longer than my Grandparents' lives, and they lived into their 60's and 70's and didn't even try to take care of themselves, so I should be fine.

But there are just moments I think, should I write my eulogy?...or what?

When it is a bad day the 1% negative thoughts will get me.

So I have decided to do something about it.
I have decided to write a journal of short stories called MEMORIES
I will start with my first memory and work my way up.
This way I will be able to tell folks stories that almost everyone has never heard about me, and I will also keep my head full of really cool and fun things instead of staying in that weird 1% negative area.

So tonight I write you:

MY FIRST MEMORY

My first memory is a sensation. A sensation I was really addicted to as a baby. To this day the sensation still brings back the vivid memories I am about to share.

I lay in my crib, not far from the window; and the dresser was close to the crib( in my parents' room.)
There were venetian blinds, and the sunset would bleed through the slats causing shadow lines all around the room.
I could see sunbeam streaks on the walls and my bed, and if I looked just the right way I could see dust sparkle in the beams as they flowed by.

It was my favorite time. After bath and full of slumber thoughts.
The last rays of sun were saying good night to me, and my eyes would get heavy.
I would just be waiting for that great sensation. As sleep began to get ahold of me I would feel like I was floating-up-up-up,then I would feel like I was dropping fast!....then I was asleep.

I still get those same sensations before my sleep. And almost every time my last thought is of that memory.

There was time soon after this that I remembered being naughty. I woke early after a nap and was really curious about things. I played with whatever I had in my crib and then worked on trying to stand up. I remember finally figuring out how to stand, and quickly realized my Mom's purse was on the dresser by my bed. I rooted around in it with my stretched out hand and I could touch two things, a comb and a lipstick.
Well the comb was boring, but the lipstick was fun!
I only actually remember drawing on the dresser mirror with the lipstick but, after that I remember having to get a bath, so I probably have a memory of convenience when it comes to how much of a mess I actually created. :)

http://motivated-motion.blogspot.com/2010/02/memories-it-is-very-late-at-night.html

Has Anyone You Know Been The Victim Of Identity Fraud


I am sure everyone knows someone who has gotten the call from the bank telling them they need to come into the bank because their credit card number or their debit card number has been found in the possession of a criminal fraud ring.
You get the call and the bank tells you your accounts are frozen for your protection while they investigate the issue. If the accounts were cleaned out the bank insurance kicks in and your money is safe, but it is a huge inconvenience and really scary!

Did you contribute to your friend or family member`s identity being stolen

Yes I am asking YOU!

Why

Because I am really tired of folks blindly passing out my email address in large loops of spammy emails that go out all over the world, alerting me to 100% fraudulent missing person reports.
They are all frauds! ALL!

When you attach a 100 or so of your friends and family to an email that has been passed around by a hundred or so other folks who added a 100 folks to the list you are contributing to the loss of your family and friends identities.

You think it is innocent and with good intentions this is done.
No
It is a way for the originator of the email to get everyone`s identity.
First they get your email.
Then they send you a seemingly innocent email that you open.
Then a cookie attached to the email then sends info back to the originator. The info can be stats on every single web site you look at, your private IP address (which is the doorway to all your personal info including all that is `safely` tucked into your computer under password) as well as the email address of everyone you are in contact with regularly.

With a few easily accessed pieces of info a hacker can get all of your info if your friends blindly send your email out to hundreds of unknown people.

This also happens with chain letters and prayers and hugs and power point presentations. Not to mention that power point presentations are executable and can hide spy programs that can take over your machine.

In this day and age where folks are so paranoid about their privacy I find it really ridiculous that folks send out and generate so much dangerous email without even thinking about the consequences of their actions.

It takes two minutes to search the name of the so-called victim on the web.
Snopes.com has a free service to tell you if something is fraud or not.

If you care about the safety of your children and grandchildren, your friends and family, you will not put them at risk of identity theft by sending their email addresses out in forwarded email attachments in chain letters or amber alerts!

Why are people being so lax and just blindly forwarding stuff! Be responsible and look up the name of the missing person on the net. Google the name. Look at the top three choices in the search sheet and 100% of the time they are fraud alerts. Do one better than that and look it up on the reputable site of snopes.com if you are still blinded by kindness.

Think!

The only one benefiting is the person who is a criminal. Or a marketing company honing their spam focus based on your user stats (what sites you look at, what the content of the email is you share with others etc)

God help you if you find out you cost a person their life because you allowed a criminal into their life because you were too lazy to double check the info you are forwarding in email for fraud!

With 5 min of research on the net I was able to find out that the email address associated with the message that caused this Adam Trembley email to be sent out yet again is also associated with fraudulent email sent to the Orangeville newspaper, plus it is linked to a bogus facebook site which is actually being run by one person who is using the info to get spam lists for their bogus organizations listed below (don`t click the links below or the person will get all your info)

www.cosmopolitan(dot)com/sex-love/sex/sexy-ways-to-go-green-0409
www.angelfire(dot)com/wi/PaperVsPlastic
www.earthday(dot)ca/pub/index.php
www.ehow(dot)com/how_2323861_become-environmentally-friendly.html
www.treehugger(dot)com/gogreen.php
www.masteringthepowerofnow(dot)com
www.hww(dot)ca
www.naturecanada(dot)ca
www.naturecanada.(dot)ca/advocate

All of these sites were linked using hidden html code to different sites that did not have addresses even close to what a person would have thought these sites were for....
I removed the html link codes and broke the links so you and I would be safe seeing this here.


That took me 5 min.

http://motivated-motion.blogspot.com/2010/02/has-anyone-you-know-been-victim-of.html

Let Us See If I Can Write Something....

This ole blog has been quiet for a while.
After my surgery my shoulder felt improved and less frozen and loose.
Unfortunately this also means the injury is now not protected by the frozen muscles, so it is way more painful now even though I have improved range of motion.
I can lift my arm up 45 degrees which is quite improved from "nothing".

My surgery was not a success.
Sorry I am giving you bad news.
The pathology said there is one edge that is not clean.
Plus something more serious has happened to my bladder. It is leaking some how. I guess the stitches moved old scar tissue and it is messing with my valve.
And when they MRI'd my back they found an ovarian cyst by accident.
So things have become quite complicated.
Now I need a bladder scope (Feb 11) to check for VIN3 in bladder as it can go anywhere....
Plus more excision surgery for the VIN3.....and...........now remove an ovary...........and.........repair my bladder.

I had to fight for everything I got above.
I had to make my case to prove I was worthy of proper surgery rather than just watching and see what happens.
I had to remind the Dr. that estrogen fed cancer killed my grandmother, and bowel cancer killed my other grandmother and my mom had the VIN and it went malignant. I don't need to be reminded.

I also clued him in to the idea that what happened to me was a freaky coincidental mimic to the horror that was my Grandmother's cancer. She too had frozen shoulder and was being treated for it when her arm broke because the cancer had metastasized to her bone in her arm and ate right through! Me getting a VIN3 diagnosis at the same time as getting frozen shoulder almost put my parents around the bend with PTSD!

In 1993 I had to fight to get my surgery and in 2010 it is no different.... But weird enough it doesn't feel like a problem with the system..... It seems to be with perception and outlook instead. I don't like to say this because I am really not too much of a women's lib-er. But it really feels like Women's sexual organs/reproductive organs/gyne health is still stuck in an age where MEN seem to have all the say.
I would take all of my organs out and have my breasts taken off if I had to- to keep a strong body instead of a weak one. To be HERE parenting and interacting with my friends and family.
I am not and never will be defined by my crotch or my breasts.
If I have to risk heart attack and stroke for surgery then I would rather risk it early in the problem while I am strong and might live through it, rather than take a wait and see approach which could render me a stroke or heart attack while I am weak and on chemo and or radiation with no hope of surviving!
Question of the day. If a man had a significant cyst in his right nut sack and every time he moved he got a burning twindge in his schlong that would drop him to the ground.....Would The male Dr's take the Wait and See attitude and let him wait 5 more months into the second year of his pain?

HA HA

http://motivated-motion.blogspot.com/2010/02/let-us-see-if-i-can-write-something.html

"If the surgery doesn't go well, I have everything done so I don't have to worry about the holiday feast meals and stuff. If the surgery is uneventful it just means I am on vacation till January!"

That is a quote of what I said yesterday before my surgery.

Today I get to tell you : "I am on vacation till January!"

My surgery was uneventful for the most part. I had one complication that delayed me coming home- so I didn't arrive back home until after 8PM yesterday.

I arrived at the hospital at 11AM and my surgery was booked for 12:30PM. I was taken to the OR at 1PM. I was given a spinal (like an epidural) anesthetic so I was awake for the surgery. I was completely frozen from the diaphragm down. I could not sense hot or cold, motion, pain, touch....nothing.

I was not given any valium or a tranquilizer so I was alert for the whole procedure.

The anesthesiologist was a visiting anesthesiologist from Montreal. Apparently it is quite common for Dr.'s to use some of their vacation time to go try things out at other hospitals. They can use hospital fellowship to try out a new town to see if the hospital or town meshes with their lifestyle: for relocation, or they can go to a hospital that has rare equipment so they get to try it out, or he might want to work with a specific specialist who does some complicated surgeries so they do a vacation placement.

The surgeon and the two nurses and the anesthesiologist got along very well. Once they realized I was a cheery person they joked around a lot. They asked permission to tell some really raunchy gynecological jokes, and we were all just howling with laughter in the operating room. In the end it turned into a girls against the boys pissing match and the nurses think we (the girls) won!

We discussed our families and hobbies and our education and work pasts. One of the nurses was 38 yrs in OR and 32 at Southlake Hospital!

In the end the Dr. asked if I thought I could needle felt a Samoyed Husky for his wife....LOL
It is so typical for an Etsy seller to turn every conversation back to their love of Etsy and crafting........So look! I have a challenge for my vacation :)

The surgery was uncomplicated which surprised the Surgeon. Everyone was prepared for anything. I was referred to as: "The neurological disease patient", and apparently neuro patients are a challenge because absolutely anything can go wrong and will go... and they cannot even predict how it will go wrong. I ended up a miracle with really nothing happening.

I spent about an hour in the recovery room. I got to watch all sorts of folks wake up from their surgery. I really saw how difficult it is to be a recovery nurse. First of all I want to tell you that at Southlake Hospital in Newmarket, ON the recovery nurses are kind and cheery. They are instictual with their monitoring of the patients. There is usually one nurse for every patient and then once you begin to respond well they can add another patient so the nurse has no more- then two patients at a time. Children get two nurses per patient. Everyone who woke up from surgery except for the patients who had their noses operated on was combative and confused for a few minutes while they were waking up-after the tubes are removed from their throat. Everyone tried to move or touch their surgical area and had to be safely restrained by the nurses while they came around. This restraining is not with a tool but by having the nurses hold the patients wrists and keep them away from the body and then talk to them in a gentle manner so they begin to understand what has happened. They would try NOT to grab the patients' wrists hard yet still hold them, so it meant the nurse would become a rigid post so the patient was blocked from their own face or body. These women are all small. This has to be hard to do. I was absolutely amazed. They have to be so tough and speak so kindly and gently to the patient at the same time.

I could never do that. I would forget and say something snappy.

Once the patient comes around they finally listen to the nurse instead of panic and they stop trying to touch themselves and peace sets over the patient and they just relax and let their oxygen and meds kick in.

The nurse manager never sat down the whole time I was there. She had a walkie talkie and would get paged on it when the OR was ready to bring in another patient and she would tell them which bay was available for the bed.

I also noticed that there is a special relationship between the Dr's and the Recovery nurses. The Drs tell the recovery nurses everything. It is like they are their mothers. They tell the recovery nurses all their news and ask advice. It seems the Dr.'s hang out in recovery between OR times and write their reports cuz it is usually fairly quiet in there. There is time to talk when you are checking out stats and examining the patient when they are asleep. It is very obvious that the Surgeons would be lost without their OR and Recovery nurses. It is like they are all best buddies.

The step down unit has a different dynamic. It is busier. Everyone is awake there and basically two things happen there. The patient finishes their protocol in that room and is medicated, and then they are discharged/or admitted.

It seems there is one nurse for every 3 patients and when one is ready to discharge, and is waiting for the Dr. to sign them out they can take a 4th, and this is when there are no complications. Complications require one and one care. If complications arise and there are not enough nurses for the protocol- the nurses from OR recovery will float in as their patient numbers lessen.

Step down has rules for patients that cannot be broken. Most of the patients have a time rule. The surgeon sets the number of hours the patient must be in recovery and step down and there are no exceptions on the minimum amount of time the patient must stay.

I had a different rule. I was told that spinal patients cannot be timed as there is no way to know how long it will take before the patient can walk, and the patient must be able to stand and walk with aid. The big rule for me was I could not leave unless I pee'd.

All day that is what I was told. I waited to thaw out and the nurses reminded me constantly that I had to pee. They gave me tons of IV fluids and had me drinking ginger ale, water, and tea over and over again. Finally I began to feel hot and cold. I could move my hips but I could not bend my knees or flex my feet yet, but I could wiggle. I also felt like my bladder was full but it didn't feel urgent. So I was feeling pretty confident I would be able to pee.

It seems that often the bladder and urethra forget how to work after the spinal and they have to be woke up. Some folks get a full bladder and cannot pee. Then they end up having to be catheterized to empty the bladder, then they have to let the bladder fill again and try to pee. So you can imagine a frustrating and time consuming event. Not too fun for the patient or the nurses.

So here I am hoping to avoid that embarrassment and uncomfortable procedure, and quite hopeful that I won't be one of the statistics.

Oh I wasn't a statistic when it came to the peeing. No...not at all. Not in that category anyhow... I just ended up creating an unique category to begin a statistic on!

I lived up to my "Weird" patient reputation.
Thus I fulfilled the dreams of yet two more Dr.'s who aspire to be a real-life "HOUSE"(referring to the TV character DR)

Once I could feel hot and cold I told the nurses that I felt like something was wrong.
I lifted up the sheets to look down at my legs as they felt wet.
To my horror I was sitting in a puddle of cold wet urine. (collective EEEEEWWWWWWWWW!)
Yet my bladder was full. I cold feel it.
Nurse panic set in. The OH SHIT looked came over 4 nurses and they were on me like flies on honey.
They were in the middle of trickle closing the unit and lots of the nurses were trickling out to end shift and team was suddenly crazy trying to figure out what to do.

Leaking is not normal.
Of course they have to interrogate me to make sure I didn't have a secret incontinence problem I never told them about..... (and at that time I found out if once-in-a-while you sneeze and squirt does not count as incontinence BTW)

Once they realized I did not arrive at the hospital with such an issue, they had to decide how to deal with me. It was then looking like I was being admitted. But as the Dr's and Nurses spoke to me about the problem it seemed they were trying to determine if I was bleeding into my bladder and pushing the urine out, or if the valve was just leaking because it was overly frozen still. The odds leaned toward a bladder fistula and not towards a frozen valve. and there was no way to be certain what was the truth and someone had to make a call on whether I had to go back into surgery or would be given a chance to thaw a bit more and see what happens.

Time passed and the unit emptied out except for myself and another patient who was extremely ill. Once there was no one around, and just before the second last phase of nurses left I negotiated with them to try one thing. I told them that my bladder felt full and that my legs felt like I could walk so now the other patients were gone and we would not freak everyone else out if I leaked all the way to the bathroom, could I try to void and see what happens? The Nurse flipped me back up on the bed and grabbed a portable ultra sound and determined there was 700cc of urine in my bladder which was really full. So the nurses said they would try it, eventhough we could potentially slip. The Dr. gave permission and we tried it. I went really slow so no one would step in wet. I got to the toilet and sat down and they just left me to relax there a bit to see what would happen......

At first it was like a leak. I could not really feel anything there. Then the trickle became a stream and I tried to stop the stream and I was successful! I then keggled my way through it all and emptied my bladder. Yeah!
The nurses were so excited!
Then they had to try to get the Dr. back out of the OR to sign me out.

Around 8 PM on Wed I got signed out. I had successfully voided three times with complete control and was no longer a leaky sieve.
It was decided by the Dr. that my bladder was still frozen by anesthetic and was so full it leaked.
They said my bladder is the size of a child's and 700cc is over full for a child.
Peeing if you sneeze is called stress incontinence and it doesn't count as a concern for Drs.

I have lots and lots of dissolving stitches from two surgical procedures done at once. I had a vulvectomy removal of the labia right side to excise VIN3, plus the marsupialization of a Bartholin Gland cyst( they turn the gland inside out and leave it to the body to take care of it)

Now the Bartholin Gland issue is probably related the glandular cysts caused by my Sjogrens disease(which is a connective tissue arthritis that kills glands in the whole body and connective tissue). Also the susceptibility to VIN3 mutations is caused by a combo of genetics and the Sjogrens tissue disorder. The Dr said even though it took almost 20 years for this cancer to return on me, the chances of reoccurrence is more likely now, but the nature of this cancer is that is best to just use due diligence to eyeball the area rather than to put a patient through chemo and radiation as a preventative. He said that they litterally know so little about this "old women's" cancer, because it is fairly rare, that they cannot even determine if women get these mutations often and seek no help because they have no symptoms and it is possible their cells die off before they become malignant- thus taking care of themselves before anyone even knows it happens/OR/....This is surmized by the Dr's because they cannot explain the low 1st occurrance rate of this cancer any other way except to predict it could have two directions it goes - one: that takes care of itself and folks are none-the-wiser and two: the kind that begins to flourish and becomes a problem and symptomatic, and then it spreads fast and it's too late....

So I was a weird interesting surgery that a Dr. might not get to see too often.....apparently...and the anesthesiologist got to see the fancy part of the procedure right along side the surgeon.
I guess folks don't get to be a viewing guest on this surgery much because it is usually embarrassed old ladies going through it, and a surgeon could not make a spectacle of an old lady.
Us middle aged women have no pride once we had to deliver our babies.LOL And we still remember what it is like to have someone interested in our crotch (blushing LOL and a giggle)

I just told the surgeon that if he was going to dig for buried treasure down there I wanted 20% of the booty!

So I am home. I had a comfortable night. I slept well and didn't pee the bed! :)
I am a little stiff in the lower back from the spinal and I am feeling a bit of rubbing on the stitches but otherwise I am good.
I had to put Poloysporin cream on the stitches and there are I think like 30 and 20 stitches.... on the two sites. It feels like I had fancy plastic surgery down there. So I think that once it heals it will look normal and feel normal.

I feel like I am rambling on a bit when I talk. Al told me I texted him last night and I actually texted slurred LOL. I remember sitting in the bathroom texting him. So today I looked at the text....LOL It was hilarious!
Here it is....and I quote: " Al sorry i didnt call you back,forgot. Pain pills kicked in If u happen to b awake text m and you can cAll cuz ev awakw here othrwz cal when u get a chance tmrrow"

I stayed on the top floor of the house today. I thought it would be stupid to try the stairs. I feel like I am under the influence still, so I will just chill.......

Overall it was a positive experience. I would recommend to anyone to take a spinal for any surgery you can possibly do awake. It is much safer all around and you feel really good after. There is no sudden pain issue with it either which make me think the sudden awareness causes sudden pain as a symptom of the sudden part of the experience. You also get a real appreciation for the folks working in recovery when you are that aware......

So I will definitely be having a cystascope on my bladder in the new year now. They will do it to scan the bladder and urethra for VIN3 patches and to see if there is a mechanical valve issue to deal with.

I think I need to make a big deal out of New Years this year. I think I need to really boot 2009 on its ass and out the door and welcome 2010 with Whoot(tee hee) and a holler!
I want this surgery to be the turning point. I refuse to have two years like 2009! I absolutely refuse!

http://motivated-motion.blogspot.com/2009/12/if-surgery-doesnt-go-well-i-have.html

Wow So Much Time Has Passed!

I am sitting here in the studio able to type properly for the first time in weeks.
I just cannot believe it has taken me two months to just begin to recover from my frozen shoulder.

When I was diagnosed with Cancer I never thought I would be laid up right until the surgery. But that was the case.

I have spent the last 7 ish weeks doing nothing. Absolutely nothing.
I couldn't type because the nerve pain from my shoulder was going down my arm into my hand.
I couldn't craft because my right arm would not work.
I couldn't watch TV much because my arm would begin to ache.

So my pre surgery time has been extremely uneventful.

I had to accept the fact that I would not get 100 items for sale in my shop for the christmas buying season, and I had to accept the fact I would be bored-out-of-my-tree........

So now I am sitting here typing for the first day, and very proud of myself that I finished the last two chistmas items for the shop last night!

My shoulder is way not 100% I actually have about 50% rotation in it. But I have enough flexablity now that I am not hurting it with every move. So now I am trying left handed chores.

I will finish getting the house ready to decorate for the holidays.
I will get my dusting and tidying done and some last minute laundry.
I have a few cookies to bake and freeze for the holiday, then I am ready for my surgery on Wed.

I guess in the grand scheme of things there must have been a reason it was necessary for me to do nothing all these weeks. I am not sure the wherefore of it but it will reveal itself in time.

I apologize to folks who have not seen me in forums or chats or NING as I have been quite drugged up these weeks and with my typing probs and the meds I was just not into following up on twitter or chats etc.

I have been on high doses of marijuana pills to stop the spasms in my shoulder so I have been Baked most of the time.

I did accomplish something while doing nothing. I advanced in Yoville, Farmville and Cafe World and Roller Coaster Kingdom to all those nerdy bane.
But this past week even those games which I could accomplish with the mouse tucked on my lap for click and play became boring. I have advanced so far I am waiting for expansions to catch up to me.

My surgery is around 1PM on Wed.
I may have to stay in one night.
All being well I may get lucky and come home the same day.

The coming home part is up in the air because there is something about the procedure being decided the day of the surgery.
The Dr.'s are considering giving me an epidural instead of knocking me out. If they do the epidural I can come home the same day. If they knock me out I may be staying over night.
This is being considered because of my frozen shoulder being a complication...

So that's the updates for now.

See you on the flipside.

http://motivated-motion.blogspot.com/2009/11/wow-so-much-time-has-passed-i-am.html