Thursday, July 06, 2006

You Can Read The Reference Below This Thank You Post

This is the email I received from Pauline about the Lovey Pet poem post below reguarding her dog Mookie.

I decided that her words were so eliquent that they deserved a front page instead of a comment post.

Thanks Lynn for your kind words and please post a
thank you for the kind sentiments from your readers.

As you can imagine I am once again crying and wonder how long it will take before I can talk about her to anyone without crying. I find it very hard to take the other 3 out for their walks and am doing the 'Look and see if any neighbours out" thing. If they are out I delay or go the other way so I don't get asked "Where is Mookie"?

Especially the children on our
usual tracks as every child in our wake always yelled "Mooks" and came over for their nightly snuggle.

neighbour across the road caught me in my front garden yesterday and asked the inevitable you know it was a week yesterday and just when I thought
..Ok ...I can say it...wham the tears came first :(!

Only a pet person would understand the feelings of a loss of a loyal, loveable, kind-hearted soul that you find in a dog. They ask for so little, a brush here, food and treats and above all your time to share their lives. What do we get back? So Much More!

a child that grows out of being dependent on us, and moves on with their own lives...our pet babies stay and love us to the end..asking only for our love in return as they please us and give us joy in so many ways.

Yes we hear them and feel their presence long
after they are gone, we step over them lying in a hallway, or at our feet, even when they are gone...just habit. Then we cry all over again when we realize we don't have to shuffle in the dark for fearof stepping on them....they are not there.

I know
time will heal, but still when they go from our lives they take a chunk of our broken hearts with them as you know. Once again thanks hun I'm sure you broughtup alot of tearful memories of readers who have also lost their best friends and loyal companions.

For a
week now I have been looking at pictures of her sitting on my desk waiting to be put on a scrapbook page. I think to myself 'Do this and give it closure'! Still they sit on my desk I managed to right down the journalling I want to put there but that is as far as I seem to get. I want it just right but somehow cannot seem to complete it, its like trying to do my dad's final page...still undone...I guess it's because its the final...Goodbye.....

Dear Pauline,

There will never be closure. Loss is Loss. One cannot slide away or get over a death, whether a Pet or a Parent. You are not creating closure when you scrapbook their pages. (I will borrow from something I shared with my friend you will read about in the next post) You are creating totems. Snippets of history so the memories of your life and loved-ones will stand steadfast for folks of the future to see. Your scrapbooking,(just as my other friend's jewelery making) is bonding a foundation of your history.

Closure is the moment you knew that your lovey one would not suffer any longer, and you could find peace with that, eventhough it hurt.

Now you emote.
We all emote.
Why? Because we are human. An animal that requires social interaction every day so we can survive.
We emote out of fear too. Fear that we will forget them in time. The idea that we may have a moment each day that we dont remember them forefront is scarey.

Cry, cry every day if you have to. And damn those who think you should be over it.

One day you will cry because you laughed at a memory of them. Those are the good days.
An awesome belly laugh, a pause, and a little cry.

Validity and proof you can feel happy and sad over the same memory......and that is very OK!

1 comment:

Johann said...

I love my dog, Max. I already know it's going to hurt when he's gone. I treasure every day with him.