Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Todays Word is: Breasts

So, if you have been following along, then you know I am in the Summer Blog-off Contest.
I get a word I must write about before Midnight on Thursdays.
I am doing this for a cause: read below.
Why don't you support it too? You can make a donation by clicking on the bra icon.

If money is not how you can support. Then please leave a comment.

Please follow along by checking out the list of participants at Five Second Dance Party

2007 Blog-Off For Breast Cancer


Oh Geeze, now I have to write about breasts! I didn't notice the Word came a bit early this week, and it now all settles in my head, and I understand why one of the bloggers has written about breasts in what I thought was a random post. Heehee!

Hummm......well...........I guess I will tell you the story of the Gal with the continuously growing breasts and what she learned along the way through life.

Once upon a time there was this girl. She developed into womanhood in an average way, in an average place at an average time in history.

When she was a tween she looked at her Barbie Doll and hoped for boobies like Barbie. Hard and plastic, each one pointing outward a bit, with no nipples.
Nipples seemed crazy to her. At twelve those nipples were growing in a weird puffy shape and they were way too embarrassing for a girl to deal with. Spending many days with her arms crossed in the playground, to cover her chest.

When she was seventeen she had figured out that breasts had power. And sweaters became her favorite clothing. Soft angora sweaters with V neck fronts that softened her feature and made her a Goddess.

The girl was hour-glass shaped. She was short and had an average face. But her boobs.....were huge. She thought this was great! Power right out front!

The girl got lots of attention, but the guys were swayed by her attitude, for they thought that a Gal who was a Goddess and had big boobies would surely "put out". Ahh, but alas she would not. The girl was strong-willed and she had "rules of life" she made for herself, and one of those rules was that she would not "put out" until SHE was ready, and she had no intention of rushing.

As the girl grew up and became a Woman she realized that her big breasts may not be all she had hoped for. Perhaps their size was impeding some things in her life. And it was when she started to prepare for her Wedding that she realized there was a huge downfall to their size. They looked horrible in a Wedding Dress, and sizing a dress when you are short and normal sized everywhere else, became a nightmare.

So she decided to have reduction surgery and make them smaller. She went through the surgery and she was excited that there would be no more issues with sizing the wedding dress. The surgery did not hurt. More so, she felt numb while she was healing, so this was a positive bonus to the recovery she did not expect.

Now her breasts were smaller. But truth be told they were not that much smaller. She was a D cup that went down to a C cup. And this was enough of a difference to do good sizing on the dress. Her breasts were extremely firm now and felt really dense.

As the years passed the girl had two babies. She worried about her boobs when she was pregnant. At only 16 weeks pregnant with her first child she went to the Dr. in a dilemma. Her breasts had outgrown any regular bra or nursing bra she could find. It looked like she had two extra torsoes attached to her body, instead of boobs. They were huge and heavy and really uncomfortable. The Dr. assured her that her breasts would not get much bigger and recommended a nursing bra that would be really stretchy.

Ugg when she had her babies and stopped nursing, what was happening to her was not like what was happening to her other mother-friends. They were all complaining that after they stopped nursing their breasts became deflated and flattened out, and lost their luster, and for sure, a bra was absolutely necessary now. The girl/woman now, was not having the same issue. Her breasts began to grow again! They were very firm and had not really lost any shape. But this continuously growing larger thing became a plague!

She tried losing weight. It helped a bit. But they were still growing.
After a few years she gained weight a bit. And they became huge and round.
By this time she was in her thirties. Huge and round gets alot of attention.
She didn't mind the attention, but in reality any attention she got was overshadowed by her uncomfortable physiology.
She was playing violin in bands and it was hard to keep her instrument slung up and over her breasts and tucked under her chin. (her breasts were not tucked under her chin, her violin was!)

Finally this woman had enough! One year she had to have surgery on one breast. She discovered fast growing lumps and the lumps were getting bigger every day and they were hard and gristley. (eeeewwww)
The surgeon took out the lumps creating a new scar. But he didn't remove the extra skin that had stretched over the tissue he had removed.

Once she healed, the woman saw she was in a bit of a mess. It was bad enough having huge boobs, but now she had two big boobs, but one of them looked like part of its side had been removed and skin hung flat to the side and was deflated looking only on the side. Imagine round boob with a flat piece of loose skin just laying there against the side of the chest! (echt!)

The woman was grateful that the surgery did not find cancer, but now she had to figure out what to do with this wayward boob.

She tried losing weight again. It didn't look better.
So she opted for surgery again. This time she did a little more.
She had an abdominal reduction, and lypo suction, and a slish slash at the boobs again!

Thirty-five was peeking around the corner and the woman looked great!
She felt better and was rejuvenated by how she felt.
Life was fine.

Her lifestyle was way different in those days. She did transformations part time for trans gendared gals. (a woman trapped in a man's body). These new Gals had to learn to act like women and be women. They needed to learn how women's psyche is different than men. So the woman would teach them how to wear makeup, and teach them how to sit, and how women make their choices. All of the new Gals would look up to the woman. And she had plastic surgery experience that she could share with these Gals who's future would require alot of body enhancement from plastic surgery, so she could explain what recovery was like. The Gals spoke of dreaming to be so feminine as she was. And they dreamed to grow breasts of their own. Here these Gals prayed for growing breasts, and the Woman dreamed for her breasts to stop growing.

In her mid thirties days was the first time the woman had a story to refer to about her breasts that was amusing, and was a great thought stealer when people got obscessed with her breasts.
The story goes like this:

I have never been much of a drinker. When I was young I couldn't drink because alcohol and coffee would give me horrible pains in my stomach.
When I was a bit older I didn't drink because I was having babies.
Then when I finished having babies I played music in bars, but never drank because I was nervous to ever be out of control when I was doing a job.
When I finally got down to deciding to have a drink or two I chose Tequila.
Usually at this point the Tequila groans come from the audience.
(many folks have bad experiences with Tequila)
I never had been drunk before, I have never not remembered anything I did, and I have never been hung over either-the story would go....
The tequila years passed by with the woman being able to count on one hand the number of Tequilas she had in a year.
Then there was one night. A big grand opening of a London club. Transformation specialists were asked to come in from all over. It was going to be a gala event. And it was private.
So everyone from everywhere in the community converged on this new hotel/nightclub, and the woman was comin in from a long haul truck run in another country to do transformations for this gala.
She arrived at midnight the night before. Alot of the patrons who were staying for the whole event were already there.
Cheering her on as she arrived many of her transformed Gals bought her shots of Tequila as thank yous for her work.
The woman was uneasy with the number of shots that had been purchased in her favour, lined up on the bar top.
She remembers counting 10 shots. Well in a competition with her drummer pal she had drank 7 shots....and didn't die or anything, so she figured she would try to drink the shots and see how she felt after each one, before drinking the next.
The night went on. She took it slow. Conversations and pool cues and great music filled the entertainment room. She was engrossed in the excitement of the night, the great conversations, and talked and congratulated a couple of gals who had their transformation surgery now booked.
The woman didn't feel too bad. So she continued on drinking.
Near the end of the night she had finished her drinks and was engaged in long conversations with a group of friends. She was really tired, but having fun. Laughter filled the building.
All of the people there were also checked-in guests at the hotel, and a group of the Gals planned a girly girl sleepover/spa session. Yep you guessed it. Just like highschool. PJ's on hair in rollers and everyone doing manicures and pedicures while eating junk food. Facials and 45's on the record player with dreams of rock bands from the posters coming alive!
When the group went to go up to the hotel rooms the woman was not feeling right. She couldn't move. Voices were getting long, and the room was losing shape, and her chair felt huge.
It was at that moment the woman discovered something else about her gigantic breasts!
I think you can imagine the fate of her situation. For the first time ever she had to shower in her clothes.
A combination of a week of truck driving with no rest, lack of sleep, and not eating enough had turned on her after she drank the Tequila.

And so ends any funny stories related to cleavage.

By the time she was in her forties the woman had gained weight again, and kaboom!
Boobs had grown even more enormous! By this time she figured there was more than just fat to the correlation between the weight gain and boob growing. Her boobs were not soft and mushy with fat. They were firm and dense. She didn't even have a fat pucker at the edge of her bra in front of her arm pit, which is the tell-tale sign of fat fat fat. Instead her boobs were firm and littlerally took shape from under her arm, right to the center.

So she started to lose weight again.
Triple E cupped. Oh men might say dream boobs.
But na-a! Not dream when they could kill a man. They could smother a guy. (yeah and the guys are saying, "Oo I could think of worse ways to die.")
So that woman today is droppin the weight fast and furious. And the darn boobs are now a double D cup. Crap!
This time though, the weight comes off and the boobs are sagging a bit. Gravity is trying to take its toll. The skin is not shrinking! So these huge gazungas are there with loose skin all around them.
Eeee ghads! Those horrible nipples are pointing way south! Oh to be Barbie with no nipples....!

Wonder what those trannies would think of their little booby dreams today if they could see what time and gravity can do to these puppies? Who cares if they're firm..... if the melons dropped about 4 inches in the profile, the whole Goddess thing goes out the window.

And the woman sits at the computer writing her story thinking...... Ah nutz! I guess another breast reduction is in my future again. And perhaps we can order a dose of perky magic too.

The Woman dreams of pushing her inner Goddess outward once more.

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Anyone can leave a comment.


RheLynn said...

Eep - yes I saw how my sister howled and cried when she began 'blossoming' as a teenager - then had a baby, and those blossoms became watermelons. I think her attitudes scarred me as well, as I was a complete tomboy at the time ;) I was always grateful mine stopped where right where they did!

Jason said...

Sometimes breasts have a mind of their own.

RennyBA said...

Now I've both clicked your bra and red your boob stories so my eyes i sore LoL

Your a great story teller Lynn :-)

courtney said...

I totally feel your pain.

Mother of Invention said...

We always want what we don't have! I think I look really mal-proportioned with my 5' 9" frame and only a 36-38 AA! Oh, how I wish to even fill an A nicely! Dare I ask for B, the most common size?!
Mammograms must be hard to do on me..they're always pulling at everything trying to get more of nothing on the plate!

QueenieCarly said...

The horror stories I've been reading. I've just started to be really happy with my breast and now all you girls are scaring me!

That tequila story? Yikes!

Shari said...

Whoa. I guess I'm going to take a moment and be grateful for sagging breasts that could never, ever be used for a bucket.



Good luck with the contest.

tarsi210 said... sympathies for the crap you've had to go through just for your boobs of all things! :(

Hope it all comes out in the long run...

tarametblog said...

cute story-like take. hmm I never thought about the problems of a wedding dress, but you're right it would make wearing a strapless or certain styles impossible. something to think about one day...

Vegas Princess said...

I never thought such a word would bring about such interesting stories!

Evey said...

This word has made for some great posts this week. I must admit I was sceptical when I first saw this word in my inbox. lol.

H. (aka. NC_State_Gal) said...

I've always thought that I could use bigger breasts, but I must admit your post made me think twice. I guess that I don't take into account the "sag" with age. I also can't imagine what it is like to have breasts so large that you can't find a bra in your size. I guess that each side of the fence (small breasts vs large breasts) has it's own peculiar issues...